The Strength of a Word

"I hate you one and all. Damn your eyes!" Sam Hall - Johnny Cash

Hate has always been a strong word. Sure I am hate work at times but do I really hate everything about it? Ok, I do hate the Packers, well sometimes. I guess not so much when Ryan Grant & Aaron Rodgers are on my fantasy football team leading me to a championship in my league. I used to say I hated Elton John & Micheal Jackson, yet here they are on my IPod shuffled in with the rest.

Maybe it has just me but I have learned there isn't much to hate in the world. Really most people are even keel and probably feel the same way. Sure there are things I don't prefer but at this moment I cannot think of one thing I truly hate. Nor could I ever find a reason to be hard headed enough to say that I hate all of something or someone.

Yet right now there are millions of people in the world that say they truly hate someone else, or a whole race/country of someone elses. But I guarantee they really don't know those people. It is easier to hate things you don't know or understand, especially people. Dehumanizing them, not looking into their eyes and seeing them looking back at you. Yanks said they hated the Rebs and vice versa, yet every night they would stop fighting to sit and chat with each other as brothers.

Why do we have to be so inclusive in everything we do. Why does all of Israel have to hate all of Palestine and so on. Is there someone leading the charge of hatred or is it just because it has always been that way? When you fall into the rut of the back and forth, it takes a bigger person or a stronger will of the people to change history to stand up to the hate.

Hate is a pretty strong word. One that I try not to use and I wish others could take up that cause.

Death Magnetic - A 2nd Review

Back in September I posted a review for Metallica's new album Death Magnetic. As I was listening to one of the songs in the car this morning I started to think back at how my opinion has probably changed from this original review, so here is an update on it of sorts.

The lyrics are still mostly trival although I have found a few that have grown on me. "How can I be lost when I've got no where to go" from Unforgiven III this probably one of the best lyrics I have heard this year. In fact that song is probably the only bright spot lyrically in the entire album. I also finally found the reference of Death Magnetic in the last song on the album called My Apocalypse talking about the end getting closer and death pulling him in. At least I maybe have a little more perspective on the odd name.

My biggest gripe is over the sound quality. The crazy thing was that it took Guitar Hero to make it obvious to people. The entire album was released as extra download for Guitar Hero III and when people began to play them there is noticeable less distortion on those tracks than the other on the CD. It turns out the music is compressed on the CD in order for it to be louder (similar to the way that commericials are always louder on your TV). The side effect is a loss in sound quality which in today's world is a big deal. I can really hear it towards the end of The Day That Never Comes and spotty on those tracks. But the better the stereo you have the more glaring obvious the distortion becomes and it is really kinda of annoying and unpleasant.

This time around I believe I would give it 4 stars and notch up from the original review. This is better than about anything out there and is a true rebirth of Metallica. I love the album and I think it deserves all the praise it has received. The songs are energetic, heavy and well put together. The beginning riff of The Day That Never Comes still gives me chills. I could see myself at a Metallica concert screaming out some of these songs along with the band.

Despite my limited listening, this is my album of the year hands down.

Sharing Smiles

Note: This topic has kind of been stewing in me for over a week due to some recent talk and debate. I think I probably could have pulled this out of any lyric so I don't know how free this writing is but I've found it is all I can think about. So I need to get it out here to free my mind a little bit.

"SoCal is where my mind states, but it's not my state of mind" Inside Out - Eve 6

"Oh my God, can you believe that?!" He was pointing at a portrait on our family board at work of a female coworker with her arms around her female partner. They were smiling some of the biggest smiles I had ever seen. "What do you mean?" was my only reply. I must have said it in that way that he knew not to go any further "I dunno." Probably could tell that I was proud it was hanging their sharing their smiles with our work force.

In this previous election, California had a proposition on the ballot to end a temporary ordinance (or something like that) allowing same sex marriages. The proposition passed and they are no longer legal in California, what seemed to be the most liberal state in our union. Mike Huckabee and John Stewart also had a mini debate on the topic on The Daily Show a couple weeks ago. Same sex marriage and gay rights are the hot topic of the times. I wouldn't say it is like the civil rights movement of the 60's but it is probably the closest our generation will get to such a
thing.

I am a Protestant Christian raised going to church every Sunday although since I graduated high school I hardly make it to church. I still like to think I hold a good knowledge of the teachings of the Bible. But I will say I have learned to distinguish between what people tell me it says and what I get out of it. Through school and everywhere else we are always told about the separation of church and state. After all the churches can't afford to pay taxes and really it is a better way for government to stay neutral. Yet we as a country always seem to put religious state of mind onto our representatives and it is always a hot issue at election time. So where is the separation? The biggest arguments against same sex marriage has been religion based on enough Bible quotes to make a catechism student cry. But isn't the Bible all interpretation? I mean if a Catholic and a Lutheran can find different meaning in the same text then who is to say what is right.

Same sex marriage is a civil rights issue and we as a country need to do the civil thing. I believe the overall message throughout the Bible is that God wants us to be happy, that we need to love him, and that we need to be good to each other. The Bible condoned slavery and yet we overcame that. At one point marriage in the Bible was portrayed as polygamy but we overcame that. The main text for marriage is that two people become one through a spirtual bond of love. I believe there is no way to consciously choose who you love, you just do.

There are all sorts of arguments that I don't have the time or the research to get into now anyway. But when I saw that picture, I saw two very happy people with enough pride to not be ashamed to put it up there for everyone to see. We cannot be a society of shame & fear but instead of tolerance & understanding. It shouldn't matter your state of mind, color of skin, religious beliefs or political stances. Agreeing to disagree is one thing but that doesn't mean we shouldn't deny people the same rights because they don't agree.

There's gotta be a reason

"She's up and waiting for more and I know he's only looking to score." - Mutt - Blink 182

I started a post the other day with the focus being on Ace Merrill – a character that appears in at least two Stephen King works. To give you a visual Ace Merrill was played by Kiefer Sutherland in the movie 'Stand By Me.' He's the leader of a pack of high school thugs looking to gain glories by discovering the corpse of a missing boy.
Anyway I got halfway through and started to wonder what the point was. There really wasn't one. I also got to thinking it was kind of bizarre to free write about a fictional character.
After deleting my post, I did some research. I typed in the name Ace Merrill into a google search. Maybe not surprisingly, I wasn't the first to expound on Mr. Merrill on the world wide web. There's a wikipedia page (naturally) devoted to Merrill and the two works he appears in. There's a fanlisting devoted to Merrill with images of Sutherland holding up a knife. That's right people love a bully.
I guess I am getting halfway through again and I am not sure I've still found a reason to write this.
What made me think about Ace is that in the written version of Stand By Me (titled the "The Body"), Merrill is only one of two main characters that live into their 30s. The other being narrator – Gordie Lachance – who is a thinly veiled fictional version of the author.
The thing about all this is that at points it seemed obvious to me that King was only writing this probably because it was in his contract to write something that could be turned into a screenplay. Its more rushed and less detailed than his other works. But at points, he also seems to use the character of Lachance to free write about his own life. The value of writing about death and murder and horror and all those scary things.
And through it all Merrill is really only a name till his appearance very late in the book. Yet it's Lachance and Merrill that survive life. (At least until the book "Needful Things" where Merrill perishes while destroying King's fictional town of Castle Rock, which most of his early stories were based in).
I thought why? Why Merrill? But I think its because Merrill is the real scary in the world. All the beasts and phantoms King created were imagination. Merrill is scary because he could be any number of people that have passed through all our lives. That human terror motivated by urges.
Urges are the scariest thing about people and they seem to be running the world. Just google 'porn', 'naked women' or 'violence' sometime and see the infinite websites about those subjects pop up.
Almost all reason is lost.

Excel & BS

"All the people we used to know, they're an illusion to me now"  Tangled Up In Blue - Bob Dylan

I was walking up into the school although it didn't quite look right but it was my school.  He was walking the other way in that leather coat and his girlfriend clinging to his arm.  I waved to Ted and even tried to say hi but he didn't acknowledge me.  He just kept walking the other way.  Why was Carrie with him, I thought they broke up?

I awoke from my dream, my illusion of life, flooded with memories from my college years.  Ted & I met junior year in our operations classes.  We became friends, at least that is what it seemed like at time.  Today I would probably call it business partners.  Ted was short, I was tall.  Ted liked to BS and gamble, I wanted to mess with computers and be left alone.  He was the kind of guy that I would normally despise but somehow we got connected through team assignments.  I was good at Excel and doing the stats, Ted loved to write and BS.  I did the research & spreadsheets then Ted wrote the papers & kissed the teacher's ass.  It was a good business relationship.

Mark was different.  We just had some of the same classes together.  Mark would have been more of a true friend had we known each other better.  The semester we meet we had the same two classes back to back in the same room with the same teacher.  We would sit there in between the two and chat.  Or most of the time not talk at all.  That was the problem we were too alike, just wanted to be left alone even though every time we chatted we hit it off.  We really didn't know much about each other at all yet there was some kind of connection.  For group work we would pick each other probably out of convenience.  

The last time I saw Mark was at my graduation party/wedding shower.  He made the trip with his wife.   They played badminton with my now wife & I.  Then we all sat around and chatted before they left.  I asked Mark to be in my wedding but he declined.  Having landed his first job after college he felt like he couldn't get the time off to come out for it.  I was mad at the time if not hurt.  Although when it came time for my wedding I could only muster the courage to ask for 1 day off from my new job.

Ted made it to our wedding and was an usher.  I picked up his tux for him and we played cards before the wedding.  He brought a Jewish girl for a date that had to be back home by sundown for Yom Kippur.  So he was gone before the reception.  I gave the room I had reserved for him to my brother.  I am sure he felt out of place after all he wasn't like me, us.

My memories of the two have really faded over the last 4 years.  I have a picture of Ted being in my wedding party.  I think we got rid of the deep fryer Mark gave us as a present.  I am sure my wife remembers some of these moments but maybe not.  She wasn't there for most of them.  Now Ted & Mark are just people I used to know.  I think.

Show Me The Money

"Line the locals one by one, filling bullets with their guns" Havana Gang Brawl - The Zutons

I still remember the conversation very distinctly standing there in our garage. "You don't wanna be a cop! Be something where you can make some money." My dad was actually talking to me about what I wanted to do with my life. He suggested I go into accountancy because this guy from our church was a 'bean counter' and he made good money. I always thought it was about the money.
On almost a daily basis he would meet some of the lowest 'scum of the Earth'. That kind of daily interaction can really mess with a person. We lived out in the country surrounded by small communities without alot of opportunities for diversification. The only time he met someone different was when he had to come lay down the law. I would figure that doesn't make for good first impressions.
I always found it funny the perception of law enforcement. They are every one's hero until they have a reason to come after you. And when one of them messes up people sure do like to rub it in. Favoritism is a term I've heard alot before. But really someone has to look out for them and all they have is each other.
I know he loves his work, you can hear the pride in his voice when he talks about his record. Yet there is something behind all of it that is probably harder than anything else to deal with. You meet people on their worst day and most others are out to get you thinking you are the enemy. That is something more important than money, it is life with a smoking gun.

It Adds Up

"It stung like a violent wind that our memories depend on a faulty camera in our minds" - What Sarah Said - Death Cab for Cutie

"I am going to stab you in the neck." He said elbow on his desk, grin on his face and pencil pointed in the air.
"No, you're going to finish that math." I said without so much as a blink.
Being threatened is a rare thing, for most people anyway. In a lifetime, maybe they have a handful of times when they are really in a situation where another person is willing to cause bodily harm. For three years, I was threatened on a regular basis while I worked in a school system.
After the first dozen times or so, you're blood doesn't even really get pumping. Not every threat was serious. The one above wasn't even one that warranted any discipline. After awhile, you actually hope they act. Just to see what happens.
But I remember this instance because it was my birthday. But which birthday, I am not sure. Maybe 23. Maybe 24. I don't know they run together.
In fact as I consider it more, he may have said "eye" not "neck."
But what does that matter. I guess if he did it not much. A pencil through the eye or in the right place in the neck would have the same result.
He wasn't going to do it. Not that it wasn't in him. He'd kill if pushed to it, but I don't think a page of third grade math really bothered that high school kid enough. For the two years he was in our program, he was a daily pain in the ass. For me, more than anyone.
Why?
While I don't think he'd admit it. He liked me. After he graduated, he stopped by a time or two. But then he went to prison (for the second time in his life). Math was never what he really needed to learn.

Taut and twisted

Note: This may be an example of when free writing doesn't turn out good. I don't know I am a little conflicted with it.

"Going to free fall out into nothing, gonna leave this world for awhile." Free Fallin' – Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers.

Our mutt of a dog named 'Buddy' pulled the leash till it was taut and twisted. His head was bent forward like a mule heaving to get the plow blade through arid soil. I pumped my sore, out-of-shape legs behind struggling to keep up with the fervor of Buddy to walk down the road to discover new smells, new sights. To reach a spot. To see.
It was late in the afternoon, the December sun hung low in the horizon, sizzling as it hit the snow covered earth. Everything was golden even the white and black fur covering Buddy's boney structure. There was a serenity to it.
I learned the word "verisimilitude" in college. It means the 'appearance of being true or real.' I fell in love with that word. I like the idea of things appearing to be true because to me there is a connotation that they are not.
What was true for Buddy yesterday as we walked was that he wanted to see the journey come to a conclusion. Animals are like that. They're singular in their goals no matter how brief they hold onto them.
What felt real to me was the feeling of being rushed and being tired. I had set out to write yesterday and it didn't happen because I ran out of time. I slept. I did chores. I walked the dog. I went to work. I went back to sleep.
I do that a lot especially with my writing. I set out to do it and never get there. Over the years I've started a handful of projects – novels, stories, etc. – that I never finish. One such project I've wrote over 50,000 words on, that's about half a standard novel, and now it rusts on the hard drive of my labtop.
I tell myself at some point I'll step out of the daily bussle and focus on that. But I can feel that slipping. I am falling through time. My head is down, the blade grinds in, I look up and 1/3 of the field is done.

The Only Way To Go Is Up

Note: Ok I am gonna try my hand at this and I already know it will be a little too literal but I am just starting. I am wired to be more literal, that is why I am trying to do this. So here we go.

"When that morning sun comes beating down, you're gonna wake up in your home town. But we'll be scheduled to appear 1,000 miles away from here." The Load Out - Jackson Browne

I haven't traveled much in my life, granted I am still young but it seems like I am behind the curve. I have only flown twice, once for work and once for a mini vacation with my wife. We flew to Atlanta for a weekend seeing the sights and ending with a Cubs game. Flying is a very odd sensation, in less than 2 hours I am long way from home. What happened? How did I get here? When you drive somewhere at least you see the landscape. My brain can comprehend the gradual changes in landscape as we cross the US. Instead, I walk up a ramp and boom everything is different.

The sun is hot in Atlanta, I have never felt air so thick that I was afraid I couldn't breathe. Nothing but high rises all through downtown. Feeling so small standing there since up was the only direction you could see. At least I knew which way was up if I didn't know East from West, North from South. Take away the ability for someone to have their natural survival instincts and you will see panic. Not that I was panicking, more of an unnerving sensation. Still we were young and foolish walking through downtime past all the homeless people and guys begging me for a dollar to get a Big Mac.

We made it everywhere we were trying to go, somehow we just did it. There was a light rain for most of the Cubs game. It felt good and kept the sun from beating on us for awhile. I think they lost I don't remember other than watching Zambrano warm up in the bullpen. Really it was harder to navigate our way to our seats than the streets and rail system of Atlanta.

The whole trip is a blur, there and gone in a flash. Hour and a half and we were back home. The next morning I woke up and went to work as if I was never really gone. Back safe within my bubble of this world.

The Bears' QB Futility

Kyle Orton had a bad game last night for the Bears. But I heard no outrage today over how he lost the game, people seemed more level headed. Last year they would have been screaming to lynch Rex Grossman. But at this point right now are they really any different? Kyle came out and had the offense clicking towards the beginning/middle of the season. Really that is a pretty similar scenario for when Rex was putting up amazing numbers in '06. Kyle missed one game due to injury and has come back with 3 sub par games. Sure maybe it is because he isn't 100% but what if it isn't? Does your ankle affect your reads on safety coverage over your outside receiver? They looked like Rex throws to me.

Now let me put it out there that I have always been a Rex supporter so much in the way that I feel sorry for the guy cause it isn't all his fault. This is a team game and yet the entire city of Chicago continues to boo the guy just for walking on the sidelines. Doesn't this really stem from larger issues?

My point is this, it really isn't alot of difference between Rex & Kyle. Both are decent QB's that at least half the league would probably take over what they currently have, well maybe 1/4. Name one top rated passer that does not have a top shelf receiver to throw to? This system, this team, this management simply doesn't know how to play offense. The biggest problem with that is that their defense is broken. Running the ball is simple, look at Denver for proof. Just block each man and give the ball to anyone that can hold onto it and still move fairly quickly. I know it isn't that simple but compared to putting together a true passing game it is. Takes 1 to run, 2 to pass.

Basically stop booing Rex and don't think Kyle is the answer. The system and the supporting cast are bad. Drew Brees wouldn't be able to throw to these guys.

What sticks inside

Note: This is sort of a free writing exercise I created while I was growing up. I'd turn on some music and latch onto a lyric from whatever song was playing and just wrote whatever came to my mind. Someone once said that free writing is the gateway to the soul. "Now, I don't know about that" as Forrest Gump would say, but I always found the end results interesting. Here we go. Let's open Pandora's box. (ha. ha. I am listening to Pandora right now, get it :)

"Last night I lived more than one thousand lives, not one of them survived" from the song Nearly Beloved - The Wallflowers; album - Rebel, Sweetheart

Last night I got to thinking while watching the Bears play the Vikings. Not about the game or how bad the Bears are, although that was hard to avoid.
I was thinking about second grade. That year I had a teacher who rewarded good work with stickers. Not on your paper, but still on the film so that you could stick it anywhere. So I started sticking them on my desk. Soon the kid sitting next to me took to the idea and before long we were racing to see who could cover the top of our desk first. It didn't take as long as you would think. Especially when we started bringing stickers from home or trading to get more from other friends. By mid-year the tops were full. Then we moved to the sides, the seat and legs and every spare spot we could find. It was like in an instant we wanted to beat each other in that and everything else. When we were on opposite sides during recess football or basketball, we were fierce. But at no point did we dislike each other. We just wanted to see each other lose.
So it was no surprise that my favorite team was the Bears and his was the Vikings. He wore a bright purple Starter jacket everyday to school. I had a blue and orange Bears one to answer.
I believe the Bears played the Vikings that year on Monday night in Metrodome. My memory might be wrong, but I believe it was the infamous game where Kevin Butler missed a last second field goal and a conspiracy grew that the air conditioners were turned on full boar when the ball was kicked forcing it left.
Anyway I remember him reveling in the win.
That's how it was. After that year, I don't think we were ever that close again. That's how things are sometimes as a kid in a school system. Each year you get a new desk neighbor. A new friend. A new rival.
But I always think about him every year when the Bear and Vikings meet up north in the dome. I remember when he died that I thought about how he liked the damned Vikings. So I guess I get over loses to Minnesota a little easier now.
I laugh a little actually. Because I remember second grade and our two desks covered in bright stickers and how we each lost about a week of recesses at the end of the year when the teacher made us clean them off. We sat there alone in the room. A wash bucket of soap and water on the floor and a sponge in each hand. Grinning as we tried, in vain, to get the sticky grime off the surface of our desks. We counted each one as they came off. Of course we did.
Now all these years later, I have a memory for each sticker in time, probably more than 1,000 all together. Where we'll each go? How many will I lose in a year or two? Will any survive the night much less a lifetime?

Calling Out People Who Forget

Yesterday on 670 the Score, radio host Lawrence Holmes had a little venting to do after a very quick and rough interview with Bears DL Tommie Harris. Harris was dodging most questions giving short answers and then cut the interview off cause he was starting a charity function and was being mobbed by people wanting autographs. After the call ended Holmes unleashed some personal venting on Harris's change in attitude lately and accused him of turning his back on the people of the radio station and becoming a bad person.

Whatever Harris's motives were don't really matter for my point. I was more impressed that Holmes finally came out and said something negative about a Bears player that he used to have a good relationship with, something Holmes appears to be more comfortable with all the time as he moves into his own identity and not the Bears beat reporter.

While I was encouraged to hear Holmes give us some real feelings and emotion on the radio, it also made me think about how he has changed. As the Bears beat reporter he needed open access to the locker room and the cooperation of the players in order to get any information. Rare was the time when I ever heard Holmes say anything bad about any Bears player even when the radio hosts he was talking to were openly bashing obvious flaws with the team. But now the tables have turned as he has his own shows and isn't in that locker room anymore. All of a sudden he can pass judgement on Tommie Harris for getting paid and turning into a bad person.

Either way both men have changed from what I remember. While I am not saying whatever Harris is going through is any accuse for his drop in play and general sour attitude lately, certainly a once overly nice and positive speaking Holmes is probably the worse change out of the two.

The End of Missile Football

This past Saturday marked the end of an era. As the Milledgeville Missiles were knocked out of the IHSA Class A playoffs by Stark County, Coach Gary Hartje's 30 year tenure came to a close once again 1 game short of the state championship game. 30 years is a long time and in a small school/community it is the cornerstone needed to build good programs. But not only did he coach high school football he used to coach 8th grade basketball and the high school girls softball let alone his normal teaching duties in the junior high. Dedication and commitment to a community that so desperately needs people to stand up this way and wear the many hats.

Still his accomplishments with the gridiron are by far his greatest. There was an article this fall in which Coach Hartje paid his respects to a founder of Missile football, Lester Snow. But every accolade you could give to Coach Snow & Molson for building the foundation of a football program for the farming community of Milledgeville, Hartje was the one who made it last. I played on many sports teams and have had several coaches but I cannot recall one with a better emotional connection to his players than what everyone experienced with Coach Hartje. Even when he was mad & screaming in practice it felt different. He was always about moving on to the next game or season whether the previous was good or bad. In his last 10 years he came 1 game away from the state title game 3 times. That is only 3 times in school history teams had made it past the 2nd round. There are always coulda's and if's no matter what happens in life but it takes someone special to look past most of those and be proud of every team they coach, win or lose.

All the Missiles can do now is look forward just as Coach Hartje taught all of us to do for so many years. And even if the day comes soon when the Missiles cease to exist there will still be memories of the teams 'With One Heartbeat' and a man that was Missile football.

Thanks for all you've done Coach!

Snakester's 10 Worst Beatles

Yes, even the greatest have their faults. Although these could be minor and at times is really just nitpicking because of the higher expectations most of the Beatles' work is held to. Still some of this make my ears hurt at times.

10. Hello Goodbye - Magical Mystery Tour: Ok maybe I should blame Target for this one. Still even before the annoying commercials came on I never did get this song. It is just corny nonsense to me. I do enjoy Ringo's drumming, that is about the only redeeming quality.

9. Blue Jay Way - Magical Mystery Tour: I promise I am not going to rip on MMT the whole time although it is by far my least favorite album, if you can even call it that they way it was thrown together. George's voice is just overdone through the mixing board sounding way too eerie in a very bad way. To me this is a drug trip without the usual enlightenment. The lyrics make me laugh cause it sounds like a 4th grader wrote the rhymes.

8. She's Leaving Home - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band: I don't like the orchestration in the background, too much cheesy sounding strings (even though that is probably what Paul is most known for). It is a pretty song but it isn't the Beatles. The backing vocals through the chorus/refrain are over the top. This just added to a disappointing mid section of Sgt Pepper and part of the reason I would never consider it their best work.

7. Good Morning - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band: Not exactly the model of creativity starting off a song called Good Morning with a rooster sound effect (not to mention the other animals on the outro). I thought this was a rock band? All I here the whole time is keyboard and horns until the guitar solo finally hits. It is basically a scaled back childish version of A Day in the Life.

6. She Said She Said - Revolver: I think this was about some gypsy/voodoo woman John ran into once. Don't quote me on that but it is something similar. It is a little to cryptic even for John. The She Said, I Said stuff is a little annoying. It is like a 5 year old is telling me a story about something that happened on the playground. "She said you don't understand what i said, I said no no no you're wrong" what??

5. Glass Onion - The White Album: There is no substances to this song. Basically he just name drops like everything from Magical Mystery Tour and then tells us to look into a Glass Onion. I read somewhere that a glass onion was an old casket that had glass where the face is so that when people were buried visitors could look down and still see their face. That is creepy on its own. There is probably more cryptic symbolism in this song that we will never understand.

4. Get Back - Let It Be: This song makes absolutely no sense. Get Back? Like get out of here you aren't welcome cause the one lady is really a transvestite? The tune is catchy and holds the song together and probably makes it a favorite to many people. But really listen once and try to figure out what he is saying.

3. Yesterday - Help!: It isn't the Beatles, it is Paul McCartney pre-Wings. I never bought Paul's story about dreaming up this melody and still do not understand the fascination about this song. It is a beautiful song but it isn't great. Sappy little love song. Does it reach the same status if it was just released as Paul rather than The Beatles?

2. Across The Universe - Let It Be: This song has just always bugged me. I don't like the guitar part and John's voice is unappealing. I have no idea what he says in the chorus before "Nothings gonna change my world". Seriously to me it sounds like nails on the chalkboard.

1. Within You Without You - Sgt. Pepper: It is very hard not to think this is the worst song under the Beatles name. Although I will admit when it comes on now, I can actually make it through the song with hitting something. It is way too much Indian influence that most of the western civilization can handle. The Sitar playing sounds horrible and I am sure it is because George isn't doing it right. I don't even know what most of the lyrics are cause you can't really hear them over the obnoxious noises. How can anyone say Sgt Pepper is the greatest Beatles album with this sitting right in the middle of it?

Snakester's Top 10 Beatles Songs

This is always fun cause it challenges us to shorten up our lists of favorites. I think my list changed a little bit every time I looked at. I wanted to try to be true to my ultimate favorites but then also give a good sampling as to represent what I think the Beatles. So if someone asked me in 10 songs to define the Beatles, I would probably give them this list as well.

10. If I Fell - Hard Days Night: This one is probably forever burned into my brain because of the movie. Either way I think this is the power of their early harmonies. The chorus is just amazing sounding so pure so young. The true definition of a teen love song.

9. You Never Give Me Your Money - Abbey Road: I find as I have gotten older Abbey Road has become my favorite album. This is kind of the start to what was the B side medley of songs to end their career. It is soft and heartening. Paul & John come back together well in the opening. Then it kicks up into this new song that is really what is going on. Trademark Paul organization that would make him alot of money with Band On The Run. The guitar riff though the middle is very inspiring.

8. Taxman - Revolver: This should have proved to everyone that George could write a song. John & him pull together this really biting riff but I love to turn up the bass and listen to Paul pound out this groove like you never hear on a Beatles tune. I was even more shocked later when I read that Paul also did the guitar solo. "And you're working for no one but me!"

7. I Feel Fine - Past Masters Vol 1: This remains one of my top songs from my childhood. The feedback at the beginning still gives me this weird feeling like it is even faster/harder that it really is. George is just the definition on raunchy on this one (insert Paul head wiggle here). So I digress a little to talk about George in how he could lay it down but he didn't solo. He left that to other people. I always believe Sultans of Swing is taking about George Harrison. "Check out Guitar George, he knows all the chords, but he's strictly rhythm he doesn't make it cry or sing."

6. I'm Looking Through You - Rubber Soul: This is the ultimate break up song. What happened? Why did you change? "Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnight" That is an amazingly insightful lyric. The little pickup in beat through the refrain adds a little edge of rage to the song that always seemed to be lurking under the surface.

5. Dig A Pony - Let It Be: This is a more recent addition to my list as I sort of rediscovered it one day when my mind was very open. The live feel of the roof top I think adds alot to this song, it is more about this exact performance. Ringo's drumming into the chorus pounding and unlike anything you normally got to hear from him. There is a strange joy in John's voice, almost relief. And that little riff into the chorus is tight!

4. She Came In Through The Bathroom Window/Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight/The End - Abbey Road: Sure it is technically 4 songs but really they were all meant to go to together and I would find it impossible to separate them musically. It is heavy on Paul but this seemed more his thing. Just listening to it sounds like a quick medley finale to a concert. Like this is how their end their show. Start out a little rocking, slow it up a little with a tender Golden Slumbers and move into the anthem of Carry That Weight then solo out into The End. I dunno what it is, but this arrangement has always moved me when I listen to it. I will never listen to just one song on shuffle, I either skip the one song or turn shuffle off for a minute so I get the full effect. "And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make"

3. While My Guitar Gently Weeps - The White Album: I truly believe this song would have been just as great if not better if one of the Beatles played the main guitar inside of Eric Clapton, it might have just lost some of the extra drama. It is very eerie sounding and really represents kind of the dark feeling of the White Album.

2. Eight Days A Week - Beatles For Sale: I will always love this song, it is by far their best from the early days. The fade in is very unique and the claps are a must. This one gets stuck in your head cause it is so infectious. The lyrics are clever and a good example of their teen pop songs needing an extra day in the week to give you all their love. The harmonies are A+ and the song is so well put together you can't find anything that could be done better.

1. And Your Bird Can Sing - Revolver: I don't know if alot of people know this song, it is certainly not one of their mainstream hits but most fans will recall it. I once saw it described as the ultimate power pop song. I can't say it much better. The song moves with force that it feels like the fastest 2 minutes of your life. Yet so much happens musically in the song. The guitar riff is amazing with just enough fuzz to make it feel edgy even today. The song represents that feeling towards people that think they are so much better than everyone else and know everything but you know their life is empty. This is the Beatles' sound at the height of their career musically.

Honorable Mention:
Happiness Is A Warm Gun; Paperback Writer; Your Mother Should Know; Oh Darling; You Won't See Me

Big Red's 10 Worst Beatles Songs

Note: I am on the third day of a cold. I am pretty tired. I am coming off about three overworked weeks with maybe the next two being worse. Oh, and Rex Grossman is once again quarterbacking the Bears. So don't hate me if I come off as a little ill-tempered here. Life is just good right now. On the positive side, I think this is the first time I've posted both my lists before Snakester has done one. I win!

10. Yellow Submarine – Revolver
I am not going to deny liking this song when I was younger. I’ll admit singing along to the chorus and even watching the trippy cartoon movie. But when it comes down to it, it’s a shame that some people think of this song when they think of the Beatles. This song was just wrote to give Ringo something to do and I think John and Paul had a running bet on who could write the goofiest, most pointless songs for Ringo. But for the Beatle even some of their crap turned to gold.

9. The Long and Winding Road – Let It Be
This was Paul’s second ballad contribution to the Let It Be album. The break up album didn’t need another one and this tune just doesn’t stack up well to the albums title song. Everything else on the album has a certain raw, gritty and contentious edge. The Long and Winding Road just comes off as over produced and pretty sappy.

8. Back in the U.S.S.R. – White Album
This tune kicks off the legendary White Album. It’s a sort of throw back kind of early Rock song from the Beatles first couple albums. It has a lot of bizarre sounds in the background and I’ve never understood the point of the song. Overall it’s just a step back for a band that was all about moving forward.

7. Run for Your Life – Rubber Soul
For a band that expounded endlessly about love and peace, this tune always seemed kind of out of place. It’s kind of like Guns ‘N Roses ode to killing your mate “I Used to Lover Her.” Basically this one is about warning a significant other not to cheat or else. Groovy man.

6. You Know My Name (Look Up the Number) – Past Masters, Volume Two (Originally released as the B-side of the Let It Be single)
Leave it to the Beatles to write a song with about one verse and sing it over and over again. I’ll admit it can get into your head after hearing it, but there are a lot bad songs that get caught in my head.

5. Piggies – White Album
I think Paul just has a thing for farm animals. Every once in a while he turns out an almost childlike tune about an animal that does nothing for anyone. I supposed this may slight at groupies or greedy people, but it sounds too much like bed time song for me.

4. Blue Jay Way – Magical Mystery Tour
Every album the Beatles went for a song that was completely like anything else out there. It was there overextending need to be artsy. A few times it turned out well, but otherwise they released a steaming piece of dung like this.

3. The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill – White Album
Again there was time, I’d sing along to this one until one day I just gave it a real good listen. First, there is pretty much one verse to the whole song. Second, it’s John messing around with his voice kind of like You Know My Name. Third, if it weren’t the Beatles people would pan it for being pointless and silly.

2. Doctor Robert – Revolver
Hey you sell me drugs, how about I write a song about you. That’s what this song is. Just a good old-fashioned ode to a drug dealer. I can’t believe the Beatles actually had to release a statement 30 some odd years after they broke up to admit their drug use. Please listen to this mindless banter of a song and tell me it’s not obvious.

1. Within You, Without You – Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band
Okay, this won’t be a surprise to the Snakester. I may one up this list and say this may just be my least liked song produced by any band at any point in the history of man. It drones on and on in the middle of the most daring and probably recognizable album in Rock history. I’ve grown to respect George more with age, but this will always be a black mark against him.

Big Red's 10 Favorite Beatles songs

Note: : The Snakester and I spent the better part of our teen years listening to a lot of Beatles songs. Every few years we dust off this list to see where we rank our favorite songs. I think my list changes from time to time just because I change a little bit or I rediscover one album or another. I could of done the Top 50 favorites for this one and would not had any real problem with it. We're going to follow this up with the 10 least favorite Beatles songs. That list is a little bit harder, but even the greatest band in the world had a bad one or two. Enjoy.

10. For No One – Revolver
I love the pace of this song. They never really change it and McCartney’s voice carries through bending around notes like only he could. I think we’ve all had a few failed relationships that you can think about when you hear this one. It’s funny how people that meant so much to you during a certain period of your life can mean so little later.

9. I’ll Follow the Sun – Beatles for Sale
I think part of the reason I like this one so much was because it was one of the few Beatles songs that I didn’t over-play when I was younger. It’s a standard early ballad in terms of the Beatles, but I like the idea of always being where it’s warm.

8. Let It Be – Let It Be
I’ve said this before, but the original album version of this song it just so much more powerful than the version packaged later on some the greatest hits albums. The guitar is riff near the end is powerful. It’s a sappy song, but that doesn’t stop me from singing along about every time it comes on.

7. I Saw Her Standing There – Please, Please Me
This is my favorite of the Beatles early stuff. It’s quick, it’s catchy, it’s Rock ‘N Roll to it’s root and core. It’s amazing how fast and peppy this song is compared to so much of there later work.

6. Blackbird – White Album
Paul’s voice is soothing and calm in this little ditty that always seems to relax me. Adding the birds to the background at parts in a nice touch. This is one that often gets a little overlooked with all the other Beatle greats.

5. Here Comes the Sun – Abbey Road
While McCartney and Lennon were very good at making complex songs and sounds, Harrison was folksy kind of guy that could take an acoustic guitar and churn out a soft, steady song. I think more than any song this one hits it on the head that the world will be fine when the group breaks up after the album. Also that in fact the individual members will be happier.

4. Tomorrow Never Knows – Revolver
This is an explosion of sound and creativity. Lennon’s voice is a bit muffled. There is a solid steady drum beat, it all adds up to hippyish turn the group was going to take with the next few albums after Revolver. I love listening to this one on headphones. You pick up about a hundred more sounds spiraling around in the background.

3. Happiness is a Warm Gun – White Album
This song is sexual, it’s angry and it even has a little doo-wop in it also. This song could have popped up on a Nirvana album 30 years later and it would have fit in. I thinks it’s signifies a little bit of the bleakness the guys had entered with increased drug use.

2. Eleanor Rigby – Revolver
This may be the most striking songs Paul ever wrote. The lyrics have almost a novel or short story-like feel with each one pegging the vast loneliness of life. The image of the pastor wiping the dirt from his hands as he walked from the grave or writing the words of a sermon no one will hear are probably two of the best in the history of Rock ‘N Roll.

1. Penny Lane – Magical Mystery Tour
I’ve always loved Penny Lane. I am sure is catchiness was one of the first things to draw me in. But now that I am a little I really like how this song is wistful without seeming so. All the little scenes and people of Penny Lane played to a happy tune makes me think about all the people and places of my own personal Penny Lane. “Very strange.”

Honorable Mention: Helter Skelter, I’m Only Sleeping, While My Guitar Gently Weeps, Revolution, A Day in the Life, I’ve Just Seen a Face, I’ve Got a Feeling, Across the Universe.

Polar Caps

Warning: I am writing this as I go and I have a feeling it's going to be very random and possibly not well thought out.

In college, I took several geography classes that all dealt with the many different subjects and variations of geography. I believe it was in a course that focused on climate and weather that I first heard that at several different times in the earth's history the poles had reversed. Meaning that north became south and south became north. I don't believe this has happened at any point during human existence and I've since wondered what will happen when this occurs again. Will gravity be temporarily lost? Will all of us not nailed to the ground spin out into space. I guess the good news of that is we will go through a series of freezing and burning till whatever ever is left of us basically breaks down in outer space.

Also we talked quite about the poles melting. Which my uneducated and naive intuition feels may just trigger the above to happen. Meaning most of us will be covered in ocean by the time it happens then.

I guess what made me think of this was how polar opposite the world feels right now. The gap between the right and the left in politics in this world continues to grow. The current U.S. presidential election features an old white guy (nothing new there), who despite being in his mid-70s and a part of politics for the past 30 plus years, that is trying to sell people he is the opposite of what he appears. A maverick? A trend setter?

Then you have a middle aged black man who picked an old white guy for a running mate all in hopes that people will see him as a traditional, safe, ready to be your leader kind of candidate. But lets face it. The guy grew up in the Illinois political climate. For those that don't know, Illinois politics is as corrupt as most third world dictatorships. If you really think he is the next coming of Kennedy, think again.

I guess what's funny about it all is these are two men who appear the opposite are really trying to be exactly the same. They're trying to connect to people fleeing to one pole or the other. Hoping that the weight on one end will carry them over. Heck they're even switch they're polar positions if it means four years in a seat that will likely make them one of the worst presidents no matter what they do. Times are going to be tough.

I guess no matter how the world spins and which pole is north and which is south, they'll always be one on opposite ends. Unless, of course, the guy from Kids in the Hall is siting on the moon and crushing us with his fingers.

Big Red's Nightmare Cubs roster

Note: These are guys that pissed me off when they played and make me cringe thinking back on them.

C - Todd Hundley
The roids didn't take for Hundley. He came to the Cubs after a couple good years in LA, but couldn't hit a beach ball with a tennis racket for the Cubbies. He was also a terrible defensive catcher and from all reports an all around jerk of a guy.

1B – Julio Zuleta
This position was hard because Mark Grace, Derrek Lee and Leon Durham have filled this spot for like 22 of the 26 season I've been alive. Zuleta kind torques me off because when came up he appeared to be a guy destined for some good things, but they never happened and then he simpy disappeared completely from baseball.

2B – Manny Alexander
This was Sammy Sosa's boy, which meant he didn't go away until Sammy went away. Alexander was a light-hitting, average defensive player that ended up in the lineup or in key late game at-bats way too often and never seemed to come through.

3B - Steve Buechele
Buechele actually had a solid season with the Cubs. Unfortunately they played him for three seasons. I think his batting average plummeted during those years from like .290 to .185. That's what you get for giving a long contract to a guy on the back end of his career.

SS – Neifi Perez
Perez was fine on the bench. Unfortunately, Dusty Baker didn't keep him on it. Perez seemed to play everyday even if it wasn't the same position. He'd occasionally get a big hit but for the most part he'd strike out and play with very little range out at short.

RF – Jacque Jones
Jone was decent in Minnesota and was decent at times for the Cubs. But the Cubs paid him to be great and he was never that. He was also one of those guys that thought he could throw every runner out at the plate. Jones barely could get the ball to shortstop on most days.

CF – Corey Patterson
Patterson had a lot of promise. But he never learned how to lay off bad pitches, hit to get on base, bunt, hit for consistent power, how to steal a base, etc. He was a pretty good defensive center fielder but that only gets you so far.

LF – Todd Hollandsworth
Ugh. It always amazes me to think Hollandsworth was once the NL Rookie of the Year. He was a decent bench player, but like always the Cubs saw a guy get a pinch hit or two and they'd try to play him every day. It didn't work out real well.

Bench
Utility outfielder - Alphonso Soriano
I know how can you put a 40 home run hitter on the bench. Well because he's a horrible fielding outfielder (yes he's got a good arm, but he throws a lot of guys out that would have been out if he would have just caught the ball). Plus he's to obstinate to realize that he's not a leadoff hitter. He can't run. He can't bunt. He can't get on base to start rallies. He can hit home runs, that is it.

Utility infielder - Jerry Hairston Jr.
This is the guy they got back for Sammy Sosa. So the Cubs made sure he played nearly every day and did nearly nothing. He's another guy with some skill but that doesn't seem to use any of it.

Utility - Jose Hernandez
Hernandez could play in a lot of spots, which made him valuable. But he was an all or nothing kind of guy. It was great to seem him homer 20 times a season, but the guys struck out 200 times with 180 of those coming with guys on base.


Rotation

Anthony Young
This guy had the longest losing streak in the history of the major leagues with the Mets. So the Cubs picked him up. He toiled a year or two with Cubbies and that was really longer than it should have been.

Jose Guzman
The Cubs got this guy when the Blue Jays had a Cy Young pitcher named Juan Guzman. I think for awhile that's who most Cubs fans thought they got. Instead they got a guy who won 12 games for the Cubs in 93 and 2 in 94. Not so good my friend.

Jason Bere
Not very good. This guy went 11-11 for the Cubs in 2001 and then 1-10 in 2002. Ouch. That's what you get for pitching a former White Sox.

Frank Castillo
Castillo was part of six Cubs rotations in the 1990s and never won more than 11 games. Most of his win totals were around 6. Granted the Cubs were real bad back then, but come on how did he keep his job that long.

Turk Wendell
Other than being really goofy, he didn't pitch very well for the Cubs. He held on longer than I thought with the Mets I believe. But if he had as many pitches and goofy superstitions, he be a Hall of Famer.

Closer - Anotonio Alfonseca
The six-fingered guy was given one big finger every time he came in and blew a save. There are a lot of former Cubs closers who could sit in this spot, but I don't think any of them were as bad Alfonseca could be at times.

Relievers
Bob Scanlon
I think Scanlon was probably the first Cub player I remember really not liking whenever he came into a game. He was guaranteed to give up a home run and three or four more runs every time.

Kent Mercker
This is the guy that got into with Steve Stone. Both guys were gone after that season. But my god they should have cut Mercker as soon as he started bitching. It's not like he was doing anything great out of the pen anyways.

Bob Howry
Home run Howry lived up to that name this last season. He didn't have anything left in tank. It seems Howry can only have one good year with a team before falling completely apart. We're still waiting for our one year.

Manager - Dusty Baker
I considered putting Baker and Don Baylor on this line. They were essentially the same, lets sit back and see if we hit any homers where out the rotation kind of guys. Baker just had a little more talent on his teams and more pitchers to use.

Pitching coach – Marty DeMerritt
This was the big, mean looking dude that didn't seem to do anything for Cubs pitchers in the late 90s. He'd fit right in with Dusty on the bench.

Snakester's Nightmare Cubs Team

This was a fun list to make. There are plenty of bad Cubs players over the years, several I still shake my head about to this day. But that was life on the North side.

C: Todd Hundley - High expectations and a legacy to live up to. Too bad we got him way past his prime. It got downright sad during his tenure. I almost put Micheal Barrett in here cause that guy really pissed me off, but Todd takes the cake. Worthless.

1B: Hee Seop Choi - Can we ever get tired of busted farm system guys? He was supposed to be the next great thing, now his legacy is that we traded him for Derek Lee. He could barely field and couldn't hit crap. I don't think he lasted much longer after the Cubs gave up on him.

2B: Eric Young - He was past his prime (just like the Cubs like to get them) and really did nothing great at all. He was slow and couldn't hit or field. Sounds like the guy I wanted out there.
3B: Kevin Orie - He was the next Ron Santo, at least that is what everyone wanted us to believe. I think he had like 1 good at bat that lead to his short lived fame. Then Jim Hendry realized we needed something much better. I was never impressed and I think I used to swear when he would come to the plate.

SS: Neifi Perez - Dusty loved trotting this guy out there. I am pretty sure that is why they finally said enough to him. Neifi just sucked. It was hard to watch any game he played and think that they were gonna win. But for some reason he was Dusty's guy and made for alot of bad Cubs memories.

RF: Jacque Jones - This was kind of a by default choice. Really there weren't many right fielders besides Andre & Sammy. Although if Kosuke doesn't improve!! I give Jacques credit for coming through pretty good down the stretch in '07. Still way too up and down for my taste. Alot of cringe moments when he would swing at some outrageously bad pitches.

CF: Corey Patterson - This one was easy. I remember always hearing this name, he is gonna be the answer. He will save the Cubs. What a joke. That is when I learned to not listen to what the organization says about their farm system talent. I hope they all got fired over this kid. Felix Pie isn't far off although he is showing signs. I chuckle when I see Corey striking out for the Reds. Dusty deserves him.

LF: George Bell - I remember being upset as a kid when the Cubs traded Bell to the White Sox for Sammy Sosa. Of course that didn't last long. One move they got right. He was slow and only a marginal hitter. There have been plenty of bad options in left but George stuck out to me.


Ok lets move to pitching. This is where I probably had my list done in about 5 minutes. I remember everyone one of those crap slingers that pissed me off over the years.

Starters: Jaime Navarro, Mark Clark, Julian Tavarez, Kevin Foster & Glendon Rusch - Navarro was a huge bust but at least they got rid of him. Mark Clark was average at best but the Cubs thought he was the shit for some reason. Julian always seemed to have blisters, slivers, bruises, etc, whatever that wouldn't allow him to pitch. Then when he did he just sucked. Rusch is like the homer king. Seems like he was always giving up the big homers every game. He is proof that all you need to be is left handed to pitch in the majors, doesn't matter if you are any good. Kevin Foster just recently pasted away from cancer (RIP) so I decided not to speak too ill of him. I put him on though because there was one season he was one of 3 pitchers in the league to have 10 wins by the All-Star break. Then he only ended up with 12 for the year and the Cubs had a second half slide. Broke my heart.

Relievers: Kyle Farnsworth, Turk Wendell, Felix Heredia, Mitch Williams - Just a smoresgesboard of bad pitching. Farnsworth could throw heat just no where near the plate. His necklace issues always bugged me too. Turk is just a name I can never forget. Heredia blew lots of games for them. He seemed so good for like 2 months and it was that let down I will never forget. Mitch 'Wild Thing' Williams was never as good as the hype. Funny though that he ended up blowing the World Series for someone else. That always makes me chuckle.

Closer: LaTroy Hawkins - Just plain bad. I dunno if he was the closer by default but he sucked. He was a whiner too and I hated that. Hmm a closer that buckles under pressure and blames someone else like the media. Sounds like time for a career change.

Utility Outfielder: Brant Brown - He did help supply the greatest sound byte in Ron Santo's history but I am sure that is one he would like to forget. I don't know why they thought he could work in the outfield.

Utility Infield: Cesar Izturis & Jose Hernandez - Izturis was a bust and I was never a fan of the guy. He was holding back The Riot! Hernandez seemed like for everything he did right he did 5 things wrong. We wasn't horrible but he was never good enough to play anywhere everyday.

Manager: Don Baylor - No not Dusty although he probably pissed me off the most. I don't know how Baylor was ever thought to be a good manager. I remember watching games wondering if he knew anything about the game of baseball.

Pitching Coach: Marty Demeritt - This is mostly a shout out to some good times making fun of the guy. I remember that he seemed to wear a whistle like he was a mean gym coach. He looked like he was ready to kick the crap out of anyone. Big Red & I used to joke about what he was thinking and saying when he would walk out to the mound with all those bad pitchers: threatening their lives, etc.

Big Red's Favorite Cubs Roster

Note: This project was pretty easy for the most part. I just haven't had the time to type it up. I mentioned this to Jake, but it's no shock that the hardest positions to come up with someone for me was Catcher, Shortstop and Centerfield. All places the Cubs have been traditionally weak and where World Series contenders are usually strong. I am also a little worried that I am a closet racist, because it seems like that I like predominantly white players.

C – Joe Girardi
Girardi had two stints with he Cubbies in the late 80s to early 90s and then again right before his retirement in the early part of this decade. While never anything spectacular at the plate, he was a true catcher in every sense of the word. He knew how to manage a staff, call a game and was solid defensively. It's also seemed like his was moral compass in every clubhouse he was in. Doesn't hurt the guy has strong ties to this area, heck, I even work with his aunt.

1B - Mark Grace
All this guy did was hit doubles (a lot of them) and play pretty much errorless infield. Every knocked the Cubs for years saying they couldn't win with Grace at first because he had such a lack of power. I find it ironic that the last two years that what the Cubs needed more than anything in the playoffs was a consistent bat from the left side. I guess you better watch what you wish for, you might just get it.

2B – Ryne Sandberg
This is a no brainer for me. Sandberg was easily my favorite player growing up. I even cried a little the first time he retired suddenly in the early 90s (Of course years later I found out part of the reason was that Gracey and half the Cubs clubhouse was banging his wife, which puts a little new spin on it). I believe Sandberg is the only Cubs position player elected to the Hall of Fame whose career spanned my lifetime.

3B – Bill Mueller
I know Aramis Ramirez ended the 30 plus year streak of revolving third basemen since Santo retired, but I think Bill Mueller would have done that for a four or five year period prior to Ramirez if not for a fluke injury. Mueller was a solid, disciplined hitter. He was on his way to a great season with the Cubbies before sliding for a foul ball into the St. Louis wall and cracking his knee cap. Cubs never really gave him a shot to rehab. A couple years later he won the batting title for Boston. Go figure.

SS – Ryan Theriot
Theriot is not the world's greatest shortstop by any stretch and is probably more suited for second base, but I couldn't really find another shortstop in the last 20 plus years that I liked better. Most people would plug Shawon Dunston into this gap, but they often forget that Dunston was one of those five-tool guys that only used about two of them well. (Although I'll admit he later in his career he became very solid for the Giants). Theriot is the antithesis of Dunston. He isn't blessed with a lot of great tools, but he gets everything out of what he's got.

Left field – Henry Rodriguez
O'Henry was always a favorite and he added some much need left-handed pop behind Sammy Sosa in the late 90s. Rodriguez will probably be forgot by a lot of Cubbie fans, but the guy hit like 75 homers in 2 1/2 years in the blue and white.

Center field - Doug Glanville
Glanville was a Cub system product that actually knew how to hit and run the bases. So of course they traded him to the Phillies for Mickey Morandini (who did have a good year or two for the Cubs) after a nice rookie season. He went on to have three or four years of 190 to 210 hits, 30 some stolen bases, batting leadoff for the Phillies. The Cubs picked him back up in 2003, but he was all used up by then.

Right Field – Andre Dawson
I remember sitting on the first base side at Wrigley as a kid and watched Andre nearly run through the wall in foul territory for a foul ball. Andre caught it as awkwardly made his way over the bullpen mounds and collided hard with the wall. The Hawk was awesome and I think most people still considered right field his place at Wrigley.

Bench
Outfielder – Glenallen Hill
Hill was a huge man with big muscles. It was great waiting to see how far he would hit it. Usually he struck out, but sometimes he really blasted it.

UTL – Mickey Morandini
Morandini was a good second baseman and good at the plate. He was also a key guy in getting the Cubs to the playoffs in 98.

UTL – Augie Ojeda
Ojeda can play where ever you want him to. He also is the underdog kind of player that comes in and everyone roots for.

My batting lineup
1. Doug Glanville
2. Bill Mueller
3. Andre Dawson
4. Henry Rodriguez
5. Ryne Sandberg
6. Mark Grace
7. Joe Girardi
8. Ryan Theriot

Rotation
Greg Maddux RHP
He's best pitcher of this area (Clemen can go take it in the ass some more). Nothing flashy, he just took the ball every fifth day and held the team to 3 runs or less.

Kerry Wood, RHP
If Woody could have survived throwing that Slurve, he'd been a hall of famer. It was unhittable when working. He was also a big game pitcher that loved the pressure.

Mike Morgan, RHP
Morgan was the poor-mans Greg Maddux. He pitched forever and for pretty much every team in the league. But he also took the ball every fifth day holding teams usually to five runs or less.

Carlos Zambrano, RHP
Zambrano is a bull that puts his head down and goes after teams, Unless he's having a psychotic episode then you don't know what the hell you're going to get.

Terry Mulholland, LHP
Muhlholland was steady for the Cubs in the late 90s, More importantly he added a left hander to the bunch something the Cubs desparately lacked for much of that decade.

Bullpen
Closer– Rod Beck
This guys looked like a biker, lived like a biker and when he took the mound you better hold on. Beck was the kind of old-school personality that I couldn't help but root for.

Reliever – Carlos Marmol
He'll be great before it's all said and done. When he's on, nobody can hit him.

Reliever – Mitch Williams
Most people forget he became the Wild Thing in Chicago before giving up home runs in the World Series for the Phillies.

Reliever – Joe Borowski
He was another guy that got a long with very little. The guy keeps hanging around getting people out at the end of games.

Manager – Jim Riggleman
Heard him inteviewed a few times and seems like a smart baseball guy just never got any talent when with the Cubs.

Pitching coach – Larry Rothschild
He's been pitching coach now for as long as I remember. That's through at least three managers, which doesn't happen very often.

Snakester's Cubs Dream Team

Big Red & I have been racking our brains trying to figure out a way to do an interesting list or post on sports. Big Red, being the creative one, decided we should fill out our all time Cubs teams. The rule was that it had to be players we saw play, so basically mid 80's to present. We will also follow with our nightmare teams. This was an incredibly fun list to make that brought back alot of memories. Hopefully I do these guys justice.

C: Joe Giradi - I don't remember him doing anything too spectacular but he was a good hard nose player. I guess the stereotypical catcher of the day. He played hard and did the right thing. Maybe 5 - 10 years from now this could likely change to Geovany Soto, but it is a little soon for that.

1B: Mark Grace - He was my hero through most of my youth and I always tried to wear #17 in honor of him. I even named my daughter Grace. I played first in high school and spent every game watching how he fielded and trying to emulate his swing (despite being right handed). As much as he was Mr. Cub in his day, he probably was a big reason they never won big either. It is hard to have a corner infielder with no power numbers but he was a lock for .300 BA and 50+ doubles. Hard to turn that down.

2B: Ryne Sandberg - This was going to be my son's name until I found out we were having a girl. Most of my memories are from later in his career but he could still play. Although I remember our high school coach yelling at our infielders to quit trying to Sandberg ground balls off to the side. Really there hasn't been another second basemen that lasted much more than a year since.

3B: Aramis Ramirez - Third base has been a sore subject in Cubdom for many years. I remember Vance Law for some reason. But I have seen Aramis mature into a good fielder from the time he came over. Aside from his recent playoff struggles he seems to get the big hits and I just like his look out there.

SS: Ryan Theriot - I have been a huge supporter of The Riot since I first saw him playing a couple years ago. Shawn Dunston was a great player but really Theriot is the kind of short stop a winning team needs. He goes to right field, plays great D and hustles. I would have loved to see him turning DPs with Ryno in his heyday!

RF: Sammy Sosa - For everything he did wrong, he did alot of stuff right. Sosa was my hero for a long time. I will never forget June of 1998. I still feel bad for how sour things got at the end of his stay and was glad to see that he could come back and play with the Rangers a few seasons ago. He carried them to the playoffs in '98 and was a big force in 2003. Plus you gotta love the sprint out to right field. Sorry Andre.

CF: Jerome Walton - This was probably the hardest position to work on. IMO the Cubs have never had a good center field, at least more than a year. I remember when Jerome won Rookie of the Year so I guess that puts him #1. Doug Glanville, Doug Dacenzo, Brian McRae etc all seemed to have like 1 decent year and that was it. Juan Pierre was better than people gave him credit for too. Maybe I should have put Kenny Lofton in here for his work in '03. Obviously this is and continues to be a weak spot for the Cubs.

LF: Moises Alou - Despite being an asshole (IMO), he is probably the best to cover left field in Wrigley. Soriano is good but Moises is better in every category except maybe speed. He has always been a professional hitter and good in the clutch. Henry Rodriguez almost snuck into this spot but really it is hard to say anyone is better than Alou.

Starting Pitchers: Kerry Wood (98 to 03), Greg Maddux, Rick Sutcliffe, Steve Trachsel & Carlos Zambrano - The Cubs all had these guys in some of their prime. Sutcliffe might have been a little old by the time he got to Chicago but he still put in alot of good years. Trachsel could be frustrating at times but I am giving him a nod for alot of pretty years through the '90s on some really bad Cubs teams. Kerry Wood is probably the best of all of them during his prime. I often wonder though if Maddux would have ended up as good as he was if he stayed in Chicago.

Relief Pitchers: Hecliffe Solcumb, Paul Assemacher, Chuck McElroy & Carlos Marmol - This is a rough position. You really didn't have like bullpen specialist until maybe the mid '90s really. I kinda went with names that I really remember being good. McElroy even had a brief stint as the main closer too (or stopper as they called them). I think if you were to look at their Cubs stats, this would be a good grouping.

Closer: Joe Borowski - Here is where I really go out on a limb. I remember lots of stressful 9th innings with Joe on the mound but he got the job done despite having like no stuff. I really don't remember the Cubs ever having a lights out closer. Wood is probably the closest to that right now if he can keep it going. So I pay my respect to a guy that has gutted out his career and really defies the odds. Which when you think about it that is what any winning Cubs teams really is doing, defying the odds.

Utility Outfielder: Glenallen Hill - I always loved watching this guy hit, it was so effortless. A quick snap of the wrist and the ball was gone. He hit the longest home run I have ever seen @ Wrigley, onto the rooftops across Waveland Ave. He was always a threat anytime he came to bat and was serviceable in the outfield for the most part.

Utility Infield: Randal Simon & Mickey Morandini - Mickey might have started quite a few games but I always thought he was better suited to be a fill in guy, he seemed scrappy. Both of these guys are lefties which is good off the bench. Randal is a hacker. I never really saw him strikeout. It seemed like he battled every time he came to the plate. I seem to remember like a 10-12 pitch at bat against one of the Marlins top pitchers in '03 during a tight situation where he finally came through with a hit to right field. I was just always excited when they let him play.

Manager: Don Zimmer - The late '80s was when I got old enough to understand what was happening with the Cubs and they were Zimmer's crew then. To me he will always personify the Cubs and a good baseball mentality. I found myself rooting for the Yankees just because he was a bench coach and I wanted him to win.

Pitching Coach: Larry Rothschild - It is hard to think of a better one out there. He is reserved in the manner that you look at him and know that he knows what he is doing. He survived some horrible years for a reason. The current staff has made the transitions that they did for a reason. I would want him on my side.

YTCracker - Nerdrap Entertainment System

This is something I had been meaning to tell Big Red about. But then we did lists on our favorite video games and we are always talking about music, so I figured this would be a good entry. I found out about YTCracker when one of his songs was featured in commercials for G4's X-Play. It was catchy sampling from an old Nintendo game DigDug with a sound byte from Gauntlet, I think. I searched the Internet and found all kinds of info on YTCracker. (his name still makes me chuckle)

You can go to his website http://www.ytcracker.com and download alot of his music for free, including Nerdrap Entertainment System. It features 7 songs with the background rhythm being supplied by music from classic Nintendo (NES) games. I still haven't quite been able to place them all and have even searched the net for help. So if anyone out there can help me figure them out, drop me a note. The subject matter of his raps revolve around nerdy subjects: video games, computer programming, hacking, file sharing and most of all revenge against the stupid jocks.

The opening to my favorite track, N.E.S., starts out with the famous Contra code: Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start! For someone who grew up with the NES, that is like crack man! Another one of my favorites is Surgerunner in which he talks about his longing affection for Surge, super sugar soda that was the answer to Mt. Dew. I wondered whatever did happen to that?

Anyone, take a walk down memory lane and see if you can get all the references. I know I probably fit into this category a little more than Big Red but it is a good time and it is free. So you got nothing to lose! Go download it!

Big Red's Worst Album covers

Note: First, I haven't quite mastered the Mac world yet and haven't figured out how to get the album covers to work. Secondly, I found out while trying to come up with bad album covers that generally I either liked them, or they were so standard that I had no real dislike of them. I googled worst album covers and that just brought up a bunch of albums and artists from the 60s and 70s that I had never heard of. So for the most part I picked out albums from my collection that I liked the least.

10. Just Push Play - Aerosmith
Never was wild about the pink background and Robot chick. They were trying to be a little brave with this one and I don't think it worked. I think Aerosmith like Van Halen could pop their logo on the front of every album and be okay.

9. 15 - Buckcherry
I like this album and see that these hardrockers have a new one out that I might want to give a listen too. But the cover with a close up of a dirty finger getting pricked by a needle and blood pouring out is just a little too blunt for me.

8. Silver Side Up - Nickelback
This has a big green eye on the front crying silver tears. I think it'd be a great cover for some Sci-Fi or Fantasy book, but I don't get how any of it including the album title fits with the music.

7. Magical Mystery Tour - The Beatles
This album spawned a couple of my favorite Beatles tunes like Penny Lane and Your Mother Should Know, but the whole concept is a little too drugged out for me. The guys in costumes in front is bizarre and all the color is a little over the top.

6. Blood, Sugar, Sex, Magik - The Red Hot Chili Peppers
This album put the Peppers on the global market, but I never got into the cover art. It has the four members faces acting as a frame for the album with their tongues sort interlocking. Just not my thing I guess.

5. Some Girls - The Rolling Stones
This has the four guys in different woman's wigs on the front and is made out to look like some kind of newspaper ad with the four colors in the background. The other thing about this album is that you can' find the song list on the outside anywhere. I hate when bands do that.

4. Pet Sounds - The Beach Boys
This is the paramount album from probably one of the top five bands of the 60s and you have them playing with some goats on the front? I think this really hurt the album as much as the Beatles releasing Sgt. Peppers at the same time. It really made the Beach Boys look like yesterday's band and the Beatles tomorrows.

3. In the Dark - The Grateful Dead
Upside down faces on a black backdrop. I get the reference for the title, but don't we all expect a little more creative from the band that made Tie Dye popular. At least gets us a skull or two in there somewhere. I mean they're the Dead. Let's play that up a little more.

2. Blind Faith - Blind Faith
Usually I am all for female nudity, but come on the girl on this cover is like 11 years old. These guys were all in their 30s and 40s by the time this came out. Anyone else think this is a little weird. They couldn't even make this album cover today. They'd be put in jail for it. I don't see the point or the art in it.

1. Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy - Elton John
Okay it took people how long to figure out Elton John was gay. Look back at this cover of a cartoon him straddling a piano and tell me you didn't suspect something then. Plus, my god like at the title of this thing. All together it's really campy, which was sort of John's thing, but a little too much so here.

Snakester's Top 10 Bad Album Covers

10. Amorica - Black Crowes:

I remember seeing this one in a used CD store and thinking that was pretty bad. Especially then how it had to be censored as a black cover with just the triangle of the flag bikini on the front. Anymore I don't see how that is real offensive or graphic. Stupid and pointless, yeah I can see that!



9. Cosmo's Factory - Creedence Clearwater Revival:

This always cracked me up when I had this on cassette. Yes a real cassette! Is it supposed to be like someone walked in on the guys and took a quick snapshot? This is probably their best album with the most hits. But the cover just doesn't make any sense.




8. Get A Grip - Aerosmith:

So are we supposed to get a grip on a cow teet? Branding a cow with the Aerosmith logo would be cool but a cow with a pierced nipple is strange. I can imagine the long nights they stayed up trying to think up something get for this kick ass album. Hmm I have pierced nipples, why couldn't a cow did it?! Come on! Get a grip!




7. Get Yer Ya-Ya's Out - The Rolling Stones:


For being so expressionless in any concert footage I have ever seen of the Rolling Stones, Charlies Watts seems way too overjoyed to be walking down a road with a donkey. The donkey doesn't seem as impressed. For their first big live album release, they could have represented this moment much better. Instead, they made themselves look like asses.



6. Houses of the Holy - Led Zeppelin:


Led Zeppelin has some of the coolest album art ever. I just never understood this one. I had to do some research to find out that it is inspired by the ending of Arthur C Clarke's novel Childhood's End. I still don't see how that ties into the album at all. Although I think at this stage, maybe they were looking for more shock value on their covers to sorta give the middle finger to the industry. I don't get it but it is still my favorite LZ album.



5. Kiss Alive - Kiss:

This is supposed to represent the spectacle that was their live shows. It just looks extremely staged. They could have tried a little harder to get a real concert shot from one of their shows. I know Kiss is over the top but they aren't exactly fake. This shot makes them look fake.





4. Who's Next - The Who:

This one seems to get alot of praise. To me it is just a couple of guys pretending to have pissed on a concrete structure. I used to believe them all that this was so cool but really it isn't anything that great. The album is awesome if not underrated. The art way overrated!




3. Magical Mystery Tour - The Beatles:

Ok, here is a tough time for me, finding fault in something from the Beatles. But come on, this was isn't anywhere near the level of their other art. It is over the top and corny. This was just another representation of their downward slide after Brian's death. They became unpolished and without discipline. I just have never liked looking at this cover, it isn't The Beatles!




2. 1984 - Van Halen:

Maybe this was a childhood photo of David Lee Roth? That is probably the only way this makes any sense. Maybe they were trying to show how rebels can be good guys too. I don't know, I am not an art major. This was quite a different direction from their previous cover art. Maybe there is more too it but I never liked it.




1. Metallica (Black Album)- Metallica:

Ok first it has been done, maybe in a different color but done. Then this particular version reminds most of Spinal Tap. Not a good way to be considered a serious metal band. This marked the beginning of a string of lackluster covers from a dark band previously using alot of symbolism on their covers. I never quite understood the little embossed snake in the corner either.

Honorable Mention:

Breakfast in America - Supertramp:
I wonder if that lady regrets it now?






Electriclarryland - Butthole Surfers:
Is it weird that I was always more disturbed by the two eyes sitting on the side of his face?





Goodbye Yellow Brick Road - Elton John:
How did anyone not know he was gay?






Hefty Fine - Bloodhound Gang:
Nobody wants to see that!





Stay Hungry - Twisted Sister:
I think I lost my appetite.