10. Can't Touch This - MC Hammer: This one was ridiculous even for the early 90s. Big parachute pants, dance moves no normal person would perform, and even spandex make this one memorable for all the wrong reasons.
9. Big Me - Foo Fighters: I could see how some people could judge this one either way. The Mentos parody is funny the first time, but not for a whole music video. Laughed the first time and just changed the channel the rest of the times. Plus, I don't think this image really presented the Foo Fighters at all.
8. I Disappear - Metallica: This song is probably more notable for the sparks it ignited begining the feud over Napster and illegal music downloads. But the video is full of self ego with a bunch of old rockers trying to look cool doing movie style action sequences. The whole section where Lars is running through a room with glass exploding all around him kills the video. He looks like he is about ready to cry and is deathly afraid of getting hurt. It didn't really scream action hero to me.
7. Lets Get Physical - Olivia Newton-John: First, they play dumb on the obvious connotations of the song by having it look like a workout video. Next, they take a sexy song with Olivia looking pretty good and stick her with a bunch of out of shape sweaty men. That is a major miscalculation for anyone involved. It was all over the top and very unappealing.
6. Garden of Eden - Guns N Roses: They filmed the band in a warehouse through a fish eye lens and had the words scrolling across the bottom with the bouncing ball. Yeah that's it. I had a VHS of all the Guns N Roses videos and I even used to enjoy most of them. But this one was always skipped because it made me want to stab my eyes out and made me think how November Rain should be made into a movie.
5. MMM Bop - Hanson: Maybe the worst thing was that you couldn't watch music videos and not have this one come up every 20 minutes during its hay day. The footage of the kids playing in their house and even roller blading through a parking lot could be tolerable. But the stupid sequences of the 3 brothers trying to act out scenes in front of a green screen, it screamed corny. It showed they didn't know what the hell do to with them.
4. Californication - Red Hot Chili Peppers: I wouldn't care if it was about the Chili Peppers, this is a video game I would not play. Yes, maybe I am ignoring the deeper meaning of the song, but it was a cheap attempt to try to appeal to the younger gamer generation. It all seemed too blatant of an attempt to be cool during their comeback. What makes it worse is that they didn't need to be, they already were cool.
3. Waiting On A Friend - The Rolling Stones: Maybe their age caught up to them on this one. It looks like they basically phoned it in. I could have made this video just walking around for 20 minutes. The atmosphere of New York is nice, but we should all expect a little more out of the biggest rock band in the world.
2. Ray of Light - Madonna: This one was an assault on the senses. The super speed clips of people going through life don't really mean too much. An old Madonna dancing in front of the camera trying too hard to look young and fresh is by far the worst. Moving at speeds out of sequence with the music never really makes sense to me, it looks fake.
1. Black or White - Michael Jackson: With all great success lurks the biggest possibility for epic failure. I remember being an impressionable youth sucked into watching this video premiere after the Simpsons on Fox. Everything about the video is ridiculous & the ending still is absurd and painful. Whatever good meaning he was trying to put into the song (and I will agree there is a good message there) was lost by his insane vision. When your reasoning for smashing cars, grabbing your crotch & dancing like a freak is that it was your interpretive dance against racism, you probably are not going to connect with most of America. Just as Thriller was the signal of Michael reaching the top, Black or White was the sign he was turning into the freak show he is today.
Almost Bad Enough:
Call Me Al - Paul Simon
Party All The Time - Eddie Murphy
You Might Think - The Cars
I Believe In A Thing Called Love - The Darkness
Showing posts with label Worst Music Videos. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Worst Music Videos. Show all posts
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
10 Worst Music Videos
10. Free as a Bird - The Beatles
I may take some flack for this one and maybe I should watch it again. But the fact that I remember so little about this video when they are my favorite band releasing a big deal video, 20 years after their break up, says a lot. Should I remember more. I remember some kind of goofy face shots and the start kind of. But after that nothing. I mean this is the biggest band of all-time. It should have been more.
9. Rigth Now - Van Halen
I think the problem with this video is that it is really trying to say something. And that’s fine. But if you want to make a serious point, don’t then sell the song to Pepsi. Now all this song and video stand for is the failed “Clear Pepsi” brand. Not good planning by a band notorious for poor decisions.
8. Say, Say, Say - Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson
I bet this may be the biggest regret of McCartney’s illustrous career. The song is OK at best. The video is corny as hell and Michael Jackson behaves like some 12 year hanging out with his grandfather the whole time. Although Jackson then turned around and burned McCartney by buying all of the Beatles catalogue when they came up for sale. How is it someone shoots John Lennon and Michael Jackson walks around and no one has even grazed him.
7. Wham - Wake Me Up Before You Go-GO
Yeah this is two guys wearing short-shorts and nobody once stopped to wonder if they might be gay. Real big shock when George Michael gets arrested trying to troll for sex in a bathroom. Seriously though, this video sucks.
6. REM - Losing My Religion
I love this song. I hate this video. It's stretching to mean something. It's really wants to be important. It's ends up being campy. I know there's probably a lot that I don't get, but that's not good because I am probably more intelligent than the target audience for most music videos.
5. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Free Fallin’
This video takes the song lyrics entirely too literally. Okay lets put some chick on a skateboard on a ramp and show her floating in and out of the air. Oh and here’s burned out Tom Petty pretending that his song somehow relates to the skate or die culture. Pass that doobie and maybe a better idea will come around.
4. Bruce Springsteen - Dancing in the Dark
This is the video that introduced the world to Courtney Cox and told the that even she can’t teach the Boss how not to dance like a retard on crack. This video gets cred for finding a future TV “star” but watch the rest of it. I mean she overacts. He over dances. And my stomach over turns.
3. Guns ‘n Roses - November Rain
Maybe I am dumb because I used to love this video but as I got to thinking more about this video it really has no point. You can tell me all about this being part two of a video triology with “Don’t Cry” and “Estranged” being the bookends, but this thing is just a string of cliches. Although, I still love the scene of Slash walking out of church into the desert and jamming his solo.
2. R. Kelly - Trapped in the Closet
All I can say about this video is that why couldn’t they have trapped him in a cell away from a recording machine rather than a closet. I saw this and then I saw that the “music video” channels were really trying to sell this as good. Ugh. The worst kind of video. One that the industry is selling me. I just hope there were no underage girls in that closet or they’ll get whizzed on.
1. Michael Jackson - Black and White
As much as Thriller established Jackson as the King of Pop, this video pushed him beyond the realm reason and right into the world weird. This was supposed to be some kind of uniting tune and song, but the major stars in it are Jackson (trying real hard to white), McCauley Culkin (casper the ghost white and like 10 years old) and Norm from Cheers (who’s neither funny nor relevant without a beer resting in his palm). Plus there’s the bizarred last few minutes of Jackson trashing a car, which I guess is the symbolization of racism. Damn General Motors.
I may take some flack for this one and maybe I should watch it again. But the fact that I remember so little about this video when they are my favorite band releasing a big deal video, 20 years after their break up, says a lot. Should I remember more. I remember some kind of goofy face shots and the start kind of. But after that nothing. I mean this is the biggest band of all-time. It should have been more.
9. Rigth Now - Van Halen
I think the problem with this video is that it is really trying to say something. And that’s fine. But if you want to make a serious point, don’t then sell the song to Pepsi. Now all this song and video stand for is the failed “Clear Pepsi” brand. Not good planning by a band notorious for poor decisions.
8. Say, Say, Say - Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson
I bet this may be the biggest regret of McCartney’s illustrous career. The song is OK at best. The video is corny as hell and Michael Jackson behaves like some 12 year hanging out with his grandfather the whole time. Although Jackson then turned around and burned McCartney by buying all of the Beatles catalogue when they came up for sale. How is it someone shoots John Lennon and Michael Jackson walks around and no one has even grazed him.
7. Wham - Wake Me Up Before You Go-GO
Yeah this is two guys wearing short-shorts and nobody once stopped to wonder if they might be gay. Real big shock when George Michael gets arrested trying to troll for sex in a bathroom. Seriously though, this video sucks.
6. REM - Losing My Religion
I love this song. I hate this video. It's stretching to mean something. It's really wants to be important. It's ends up being campy. I know there's probably a lot that I don't get, but that's not good because I am probably more intelligent than the target audience for most music videos.
5. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Free Fallin’
This video takes the song lyrics entirely too literally. Okay lets put some chick on a skateboard on a ramp and show her floating in and out of the air. Oh and here’s burned out Tom Petty pretending that his song somehow relates to the skate or die culture. Pass that doobie and maybe a better idea will come around.
4. Bruce Springsteen - Dancing in the Dark
This is the video that introduced the world to Courtney Cox and told the that even she can’t teach the Boss how not to dance like a retard on crack. This video gets cred for finding a future TV “star” but watch the rest of it. I mean she overacts. He over dances. And my stomach over turns.
3. Guns ‘n Roses - November Rain
Maybe I am dumb because I used to love this video but as I got to thinking more about this video it really has no point. You can tell me all about this being part two of a video triology with “Don’t Cry” and “Estranged” being the bookends, but this thing is just a string of cliches. Although, I still love the scene of Slash walking out of church into the desert and jamming his solo.
2. R. Kelly - Trapped in the Closet
All I can say about this video is that why couldn’t they have trapped him in a cell away from a recording machine rather than a closet. I saw this and then I saw that the “music video” channels were really trying to sell this as good. Ugh. The worst kind of video. One that the industry is selling me. I just hope there were no underage girls in that closet or they’ll get whizzed on.
1. Michael Jackson - Black and White
As much as Thriller established Jackson as the King of Pop, this video pushed him beyond the realm reason and right into the world weird. This was supposed to be some kind of uniting tune and song, but the major stars in it are Jackson (trying real hard to white), McCauley Culkin (casper the ghost white and like 10 years old) and Norm from Cheers (who’s neither funny nor relevant without a beer resting in his palm). Plus there’s the bizarred last few minutes of Jackson trashing a car, which I guess is the symbolization of racism. Damn General Motors.
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