Snake turns his ear up to the commotion coming from outside the dingy saloon – the kind of place where a man's boots always stick to the floor no matter how hard the tender and waitress scrubbed each night after closing to remove the alcohol and chew stains soaked in the oak floor boards – before dealing out the cards. He didn't think much of the commotion. It was Coleta, after all, there was always some sort of trouble on the two dusty streets lined with honky tonks, saloons and four churches. Besides he had more money to win from the four chumps fool enough to sit at his table an hour before.
A few minutes later, Snake orders another shot of whiskey while staring at the pair of ladies in his hand and deciding if he can bluff his way out. "Hell yeah," he thinks, "these guys are idiots."
The Saloon doors split then, smacking the walls by being thrust all the way open. A dark figure, wearing a wide-brimmed hat and a pair six shooters still smoking in the holsters at his hips, appeared in the door way before walking to the table.
Snake knew him. Hell, he more than knew him. In their youth, the two had run a lot of trouble together – a lot of fun he remembered. His name was Big Red. Ten years before, the wild man had put his guns away and handed his pack of lucky cards to Snake saying, "I think I'll try my hand at farming that untamed land." Snakester thought it was a fool idea, but didn't try to deter him. When an idea caught in Big Red's mind, there was no use fighting him about.
Snake stared at Big Red as he barked an order for the some red whiskey. As he drew closers, Snake could see the blood dripping from Red's finger tips and the way his chest heaved in and out in exaggerated fashion. He didn't have to ask what was going on. Deep inside, Snake knew this day would one day come. Red was back in the gang.
"You got my cards," he said.
"Sure," Snakester said. Pulling the pack he never played, heck never took out of the case, from the pocket inside his vest and placing them on the table.
"Good," he said spitting on the floor and then pushing one of the idiots out of its chair (the idiot didn't deserve the pronoun of he).
Sitting down, Red slammed his paw down on the table and lifted it. Shining on the green felt was a familiar gold star with what looked like a bite mark at the tip of one point. Snake knew the chest that star usually hung on and looked back outside toward the dusty streets bathed in sun.
"Now this is how it's going to be." Red in a gruff voice sounded.
Snake and even the idiots leaned forward. Part of Snake was a little scared, but when Big Red came into the saloon with eyes glaring in that way, you had to listen. When Red got an idea, he didn't let it go. Outside of that farming bit, Snake had loved getting caught up in Red's plots.
"This is going to be fun," Snake thought. "One hell of a lot of fun."
* * *
Okay, so I couldn't sleep at all last night. Although this morning, that wasn't so much a problem. I read for a good three hours last night and came to a very bright realization.
This is it.
I've been toiling for what seems like a decade with this writing thing and if I don't hunker down pretty soon then I might as well give it up. So I've got to get started.
The above sequence popped into my head when I laid down to sleep and kept me up for a good hour. I don't know exactly what it means, but I thought it was kind of fun.
Anyways about the writing. Stephen King recommends writing 2,000 words a day when writing a novel. I've decided I can't start with a novel. I need to get some credits with short stories before. Maybe I'll try with that little thing I did earlier this week, maybe not. I am kind of on the fence on how that would hold up under scrutiny. Maybe that can go in some collection I release someday.
What this means is that every morning, I have to hash out ummm 1,500 words or so before I do anything else. This may cut into the posting time for here, I do after all have a job and some responsibilities as a husband. But I am not going away. I am just focusing on what I gotta do.
* * *
Okay so I thought this might be a better way to handle the 1,001 Albums thing. I think what I'll do is every Thursday or Friday is post five entries and my thoughts on them. If I know nothing about them, I may not say much of anything at all. I thought this way, Snakester gets a better idea of what's in the book and then can comment on the one's he wants too. Probably, make me look like a chump, because I am sure he knows a lot more of these than I do. I also thought, this may incur some other reader interaction. Just a thought.
So here are the first five listed in the index. I thought I'd continue with the index rather than going chronologically. This way we get more variety.
Abattoir Blues/The Lyre of Orpheus (2004) by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Label: Mute
Producers: Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds/ Nick Launay
Nationality: Australia
Running time: 82:24
I don't know this band or album. Apparently they've been around for awhile. This is a double album. One disc is full of fast-beat zingers and the other is full of love songs. I think the Foo Fighters did this once. I've always wondered when this happens why not just hold back and release two different albums. Sometimes i think this is a poor decision. I kind of like it when an album has a full array of songs smashed all together.
Abbey Road (1969) by The Beatles
Label: Apple
Producer: George Martin
Running Time: 47:36
I already did this one. Beatles last studio album, great, progessive, enough said.
Abraxas (1970) by Santana
Label: Columbia
Producer: Fred Catero/ Santana
Running time: 37:18
I've never listened to this whole album, but a few of the classic rock stations around here play "Black Magic Woman" and "Oye Como Va" to death. I think if I did have this album, I'd never listen to it because I am so burned out by those tunes. I am curious what a few of the others sound like though.
Ace of Spades (1980) by Motorhead
Label: Bronze
Producer: Vic Maile
Running time: 36:34
Snake might correct me if I am wrong, but I believe he had or has this album. Pretty sure that I've heard this one all the way through, but it has been awhile. Love the "Ace of Spades" and Lemmy is God. It's fast guitar and fun, what else can I say about Motorhead.
Achtung Baby (1991) by U2
Label: Island
Producer: Brian Eno/Daniel Lanois
Running time: 55:22
I still think this is my favorite U2 album, although not by a lot. I think this wins out just because it was the first one I listened to way back when I was in grade school. Things always seem to get bonus points if you listened to it and liked it when you were 10 years old. At parts its trying to be a little too artsy, but that Bono. I do think the Edge takes off on a lot of tracks on this album and shreds with the guitar.
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Two friends sharing lists, writings and thoughts on music, movies, sports, etc. We invite all of you to share.
Welcome!
We (Snakester & Big Red) are two long time friends that love making lists on pop culture subjects (Music, Sports, Movies, TV, etc). Our lives have changed alot since the good old days but we wish to keep up the tradition. There has been a hiatus for a year and a half or so. We welcome you all back and hope for any comments, thoughts or ideas.
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5 comments:
That is alot of address in one comment. I think I will just post my take on the albums mentioned. The writing is exciting and has already got me wanting to hear more. So are you looking at a 3rd person limited viewpoint? that is the only thing that still kinda has me confused, it seemed like Snake was telling the story but not really. But that could be kind of the point, it is like a story pasted down through the generations.
My critique of my little story.
First, I wrote this with only this little sequence in mind. I didn't have any plans for more and ideas of what comes after Big Red's statement "Now this is how it's going to be." All I wanted to do was build a scene with two characters I knew well (hell more than well, as Snake would think), a simple setting, all of which built to one dramatc moment.
I congratulate myself, I did that. Now here's what works and what doesn't.
The Setting - I think I hit it without painting the whole damn picture. The sticky floor of the dingy saloon, the dirt streets, the green felt poker table, and all the rest the reader can figure the hell out.
The Snake – I didn't plan this but I nicely developed the character of a poker player. He reads people. He knows when to follow people, he knows when to hedge his bets like when Big Red takes up farming. His poker face only drops for a second at the end. He'd be the character to shoot this film through, because he notices things, he watches, he's out to win the game.
Things not so good.
Big Red - I think his movements are like that of a Lego man, kind of blocked. I struggled with his entrance and his movement to the table. I don't know his motivation or his direction. That would need to be honed (slightly, this is an opening scene, Kenny Rogers says - don't count your money before the dealing is done.)
Diction – My word choice at points sticks out like a sore thumb. Does an old west card player call people "Chumps" and "idiots." Do six-shooters smoke for very long after being fired. Wouldn't Snake differentiate between a commotion and shots fired (wouldn't shots fired raise a little more alarm in Snake than a commotion even in a wild place like Coleta).
Editing: This drove me bonkers to read this a few hours later, typos, missing letters and words, italics for internal dialogue, etc. Things that make me want to scroll down the page till I find the trash and puke it out.
Now for the big finish.
Finally point: I don't have one. Is this about friendship? Growing up? Trouble making? In this short of the scene you can't figure this all out and if you try, the scene we'll get bogged down by detalis. When you read this, did you like the words or the theme or the deeper meaning. Hell no, you like where the story is going. The Story.
I like this because the story doesn't get lost in anything else, I tell you Snake and Red are old friends, had a lot of trouble and fun. But I don't say what kind of either. I give you an idea how they split, but not all the blood and guts of it. The rest of that can be serve out in little pieces further on in the tale.
I also give you things to think about.
Why doesn't the Snake ever use Big Red's cards? Why are they lucky? (I didn't even think about the cards till after I reread this. I think they'd be pivotal to the rest of the narrative).
Is Snake a little worried about the trouble Big Red has stirred up this time? (Looking out the door to the streets bathed in sun)
Where is this adventure going? (I don't know. Lets look closer and see).
I've been thinking about it alot and i dont know why. probably cause it does have so many possibilities. I was tempted to ask you if i could write some for it but I dont think that would work. Have you ever seen The Good, The Bad and The Ugly? if not then i am going to get you two songs from the soundtrack. Listen to them and see what it would inspire for vision and mood. There aren't any words, actually the one you have probably heard cause they use it in football commericials. It is just the first thing i thought of when you talked about these harden people, the close up of those ugly faces, the scars of the hard life, the blank expression on some of the simpletons.
Here's what we'll do. I am going to do a little edit to the first part (some of the errors are just bugging me). Then I will send you that.
Then lets both write the next scene – I'd say about 1,000 or so words. Nothing that ends the story, just write till you reach a spot where you'd transition. Take a week or so on this before posting all of it together.
Lets see what we both come up with, who's know maybe we'll come close or combine it together and gets something rolling.
(Also feel free to shake things up some in the original to meet your storyline.)
I got the file now just have to figure out where to go with it. Should be interesting!
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