"There's a self-destructive meaning in a bleeding of a guy" Overweight - Blue October
"Ever think about driving to a big city and just killing a random bum?"
The shocked expression on his buddy's face would have been visible through a black hole, let alone the dark room lit only by the TV screen.
"Seriously dude?"
"Yeah, like who is gonna care about a bum. Just go somewhere you've never been before so no one recognizes you."
"Dude....That's fucked up!"
"You've never wondered what it's like?" The idea made perfect sense to him. It always had. Like a tickling at the back of his neck that would make his hairs stand up as if we were a dog on guard from a stranger. The average boy turned psycho murderer then back again. The urge had welled up in him releasing those inner thoughts before he knew what he said.
"Dude...No!"
"Pussy!" It was the only normal sounding retort he could think of, hoping it would lighten the suddenly awkward situation. "I just thought everyone did." That was a lie. He knew he was different. Other boys didn't want to punch random people. Didn't want to kill strangers. Didn't want to throw their friends through the bay window in their living room. The stars were shining majestically through the glass, calling to him. Asking for their destruction.
He could feel it coursing now through his blood. This need in his arms to move with force. The desire for his fists to bury themselves into some one's face. Like a werewolf struggling to resist the call of a full moon, he knew he would lose the battle tonight.
"Dude, you watch too many creepy movies. Maybe we need to put in 'Old School' or something?"
He forced a chuckle, then tried to mask a deep breath. "Yeah, whatever you wanna watch. This one is dumb anyway." One more deep breath. Steady...
The love he felt for his friend and the thought of the family repercussions eventually turned the tide. A final deep breath, this one coming out as a heavy sigh. He could feel the hair on his arms relaxing. His knuckles hurt as his fingers loosened out of the tight fists that were ready to blast down like a meteor storm. If it had been someone else, a random bum for instance, he knew he would have lost.
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4 comments:
Awesome little piece of writing here. Makes wonder about all those times we slept in the same room, if I was lucky to wake up the next morning, but nothing that some heavy drinking won't help me forget :)
I'll post more later after I let it sink in for awhile. I did get to wonder what some of the internal dialogue of the kid would be if this was the first time he realized that not everyone thinks about this kind of stuff. But that's me plotting and may not be your vision.
Also, good work with the dialogue. It's not easy to create believable conversations.
The line actually was said by someone else once. I original was thinking about this desire to pick fights but then that memory popped into my head and i went from there. I challenged myself put feeling and dialogue in without giving the two people names or describing them directly. Just basically clues to their age and that they are probably males.
I am glad you thought it was good. I was unsure at first with some of my choices of words, but it says something without saying anything really. I was gonna stay out of the aggressive kids head but then changed direction. This could turn into something bigger, if i ever had the time and ambition.
I always think about word choice and the use of strong language as if I were sitting in the room and writing everything said and done. If the character uses those words, then you have to write them down. If they don't, don't.
There a few words to avoid or to use with extreme caution, but only a few.
I have no idea what you are getting at there
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