"Got a good reason for taking the easy way out" Day Tripper - The Jimi Hendrix Experience
The two men spread out low against the side of the pale dirt mound. Each holding their hats on their heads against a strong head wind. The other hand shielded their eyes from the blazing yellow sun. Red strained to be able to look down upon the group of buildings made of wood and stone. He was struggling to make out all the figures in the distance as Snake was counting. 1...2...3...4...5... The group of three men made their way around the far side of the smaller stone building in the middle of the town. Their march was steady as if this thrown together group of guards were actually soldiers. 7...8...9...10... The men appeared again on the near side of the building. Red was wishing he could see their faces, see what kind of men they really were. One man in the middle was slightly shorter than the other two. They walked tall with rifles being carried by the two outside guards and the man in the middle holding a scatter gun. All three worse revolver at the waist. 11...12....13...14...15 The middle guard stops at the front door while the other two continue the march. He knocks three times in rhythm for the door to open. A much taller man, maybe a full head by Red's blurred visioned, steps out of the opening nodding at the shorter man. His once blue shirt is now gray from all the dust blown across the barren land. He begins to dust himself off as he walks inside the building. 9...10.. The taller man, his shirt bright blue shining across the distance closes the door behind him as he walks out to the porch area. He looks to be holding another rifle. The two marching men have made it back to the front of the building. They stop only for a moment to allow the new guard to step in formation. They take off again on their steady gait.
"15 to make the circle, nine to ten at the door," Snake rings out as he slumps back down the dirt mound. He talks his hat off to wipe his sweaty brow with his sleeve.
"So only four that we've seen, but gauging by the food and supplies they've brought in the last two days, I'd say there is at least two more inside that haven't come out." Red had to rub his eyes from the strain. His grizzled face was raw from the sun and wind. He still felt pretty fresh despite the long horse ride and then walk into the side of town.
"Yes, those two are the ones guarding the cell for sure. Usually got scatter guns. This ain't gonna be easy. We shoulda brought Clem and Hop." The strain was more obvious across Snake's face.
"And what?" Red could see the worry in Snake's face, but the comment still made his blood start to boil. "Hop can't help us storm the place and he ain't hitting crap from up here. Clem.... Just forget about them, it is our fault, we'll fix it ourselves." Red could already feel his fists tightening.
"Hold on a minute, our fault? YOUR fault. YOU knew Chief wouldn't say no to something you asked him to do. I told you they don't like his kind in the area, but you made it go anyway."
"I ain't never made Chief do anything he don't want to, ain't nobody ever had power over him." Red knew that wasn't true. Still he got the reaction he needed out of Snake.
"Whatever you say Red. It always is." The vigor began to drain from Snake's face. "So, what's the plan? Scaring people with guns on stage coaches and robbing farmers on the trail is one thing. But busting into a jail with six or more armed men is a new animal for us."
"If you were scared, you wouldn't be here! But if it is MY fault, then getton back home." Red could feel his cheeks flushing this time. Snake had been at the home a little too long, he still sounded like Van Mussen every now and then.
"Calm, yourself. You know it is always gonna be me and you. Now what you wanna do?"
"You loaded?"
"Always, I ain't stupid, just because you the brains," the last part had just enough of the sarcasm that endeared Snake to Red. He knew he had it in him to do what Red knew had to be done.
"We gonna take the easy way then," Red couldn't stop the grin from crossing his face.
Snake began checking the chambers of his twin revolvers, "That ain't ever been true yet."
Friday, May 14, 2010
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3 comments:
I started thinking near the end of this that these two characters seem younger than the ones we met before. Like maybe this happened before the stuff from the other shooting guns stuff. I don't know why I feel that way, or if that's the case, although some of the other characters I believe came around later. I'll have to look back. I am interested if we find out more about this situation or not.
You do have some tense and active voice issues in the first paragraph. I think you were probably focused on keeping things straight there to notice. Most of its easy to fix.
Yeah I wanted to do a section from Red's perspective since the main story had all been from Snake. This would be sometime back in the 'old days' before when the story started but after 'the fire' i hope to finish this segment if a song leads me there. I actually planned to have this be an action sequence and it sorta went the other way.
Writing like this does make it hard to really plan and layout a story. Like right now, I am not really sure what will inspire me from Winnebago, as it relates to my tale. That's also what makes it interesting and fun.
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