Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Legacy Project - Section 6: Two of a Kind

Note: I spent a long time writing this section. I got stuck in several parts then had a hard time closing it up. It likely gets weaker as it goes on. It is just under 2,400 words which is likely the most I've written for one section of a story. If this were a book, the last two sections and this one would likely be 1 chapter. I included the ending of the last section edited to fix a big writting blunder. Red said he would read it, so here is this long piece. Enjoy!


Damn it! The curse slipped from his lips as he drew his two pistols. No one would have been able to hear it over the thunder of Red’s revolver. Snake’s ears rang with a furry greater than all the church bells in a nearby valley. Not a soul could remain in bed throughout this sleepy town. Red already had the three men down before Snake was able to get the twin Colts out of their holsters, Snake’s eyes disagreeing with his ears on just how many shots were fired. It wasn’t the marching guards he was worried about. His timing was perfect to gun down the two men that ran out of the front door of the jail with panic stricken looks now forever hardened into their cold, stone faces. Someone from the inside kicked a foot out of the way as he slammed the jail door shut. The three locks being engaged clanged out into the night.

Red stood up to face Snake; he was wearing a slanted smile that spread from ear to ear. That smile would irk Snake at times boiling his blood until it followed up to his ears making them hotter than the flames of hell. Yet, it was the single biggest feature that endeared Red to him. It meant Red was feeling it; his mind was flowing with ideas and his aim was pure. It meant more trouble.


“I said I believe we’re both the same” Evil Man by The Answer

“What if you’d a missed? I was right in your line of fire.” Snake could feel the heat radiating off his eyes. He holstered his twin revolvers with a quick twirl and began quickly rubbing each ear lobe with his index finger and thumb.

“I don’t miss.” Red called out in a strong solid tone before the slanted smile broke out across his face again. “Although, I caught your face as you saw me creeping up. That look almost distracted me.” The last part barely struggled out of his mouth before he broke out into chuckle. “Good thing these ‘coots didn’t know where to look in the shadow. You stick out like a sore thumb.”

Snake’s fingers tugged on each ear then began a vigorous rub of his right ear. Red’s smile only widened at the obvious fury emanating from his partner. “I should know better than to think you’d sit still. You..”

Snake’s hearing shot back to life despite the humming that was just there from the recent gun fire. He picked out the cock of a pistol hammer and the opening of a latch off to his left. In less than a moment, his mind had already processed the information and called his body into action. The sensation always felt strange to him, as if time stood still and he was outside watching his body move like a spectator in a crowd or sitting in a dance hall watching those fools perform on stage. A loud buzz shooting past his left ear in the space his head recently occupied was certainly the first shot. Snake was already horizontal to the ground diving off in Red’s direction. The hollow thud sound caught his right ear as he felt his forearms hit Red’s chest. Red left out a grunt from the contact as the second bullet rang out into the street way off target. The boys landed with a great thump that resonated through Snake’s chest almost as loudly as the gunfire did in his ears. A third shot had called out and made a cloud in the dirt near Snake’s feet as he rolled onto his back.

The boards of the jail window were closed with a mighty bang. Snake had managed to get his guns pulled, but didn’t bother to waste any bullets. Need a target first. Red and Snake swung up with fluid, adroit motions into crouches.

“We need cover before the whole town gets up and starts shooting us in the back.” Snake nodded at Red’s observation as they quickly shuffled over to the area where Red hid in the shadows earlier.

Snake held a single finger up to his lips and motioned for Red to turn toward the street. Red tapped a finger to his nose as moved for a better view of the street. Both instinctively began reloading the chambers of their revolvers, deftly emptying out spent cartridges while focusing their eyes out to their unprotected sides as if their fingers had minds of their own.

Snake leaned over against the wall of jail placing his left ear against the smooth, weathered wood. The sounds of the jail resonated out as if he were standing right in the middle of the room. In a matter of seconds, he could see everything inside the old building. A map exploded out in his mind.

“Psst.” Snake waved Red back over next to him. “Ok, there are three guys still in the jail. I can hear Chief breathing on the far side of the room so his cell must be in the other corner. There is a guy, with what sounds like a Browning shotgun, standing guard on him.”

“Come on, you expect me to believe this hogwash?”

“He is nervous; it keeps clanging against the bars of the cell. I know what the Browning barrels sound like against metal. No shut up a minute.” Snake knew when it was his turn to take lead and put Red in his place. Plan or no plan, he wanted to make sure Red knew which way not to shot so Chief could come out of this alive. “There is another guy leaning up against the front wall, his breath ain’t so heavy. The third guy...” Snake paused trying to stretch back through his mind, something was missing. He could see Red tilt his head at the pause as his brow furrowed into the middle creating a wrinkle in the shape of a V over his nose.

“What is it?”

“I can’t tell where the third guy is. I could just hear him. He was barking orders at the other two, but his voice echoed so. And..” Snake trailed off again as his mind went back over the information.

“And?” Snake could hear the rising concern in Red’s voice. He kept his eyes trained on Snake as he took a turn pressing his ear up against the wall.

“And I recognize the voice, but I don’t know from where. I’ve heard it before.”

Red straightened back up running his palm over his mouth. There was a momentary silence as the two boys stood there looking at each other. Snake could hear all the voices from every person he had ever met by name fly through his head. No name emerged, just the faint smell of smoke and tears in his nostrils. He looked up to see that smile creeping back across Red’s face.

“Who gives a shit who it is. They’ll figure it out when they go to chisel the tombstone.” This was one of those endearing times. Snake could never help but admire Red’s grit. Everything in his brain told him to wait until he had all the info. If this were cards, he would ‘Check’ in a tactic to stall and collect more information. Red, he was an ‘All In’ guy. All guts, no sense. Snake knew that was untrue the moment he thought it. The two were never mutually exclusive. One needed the other to survive.

“Here,” Red reached into his back pocket pulling out two long, red sticks. “I’m tired of carrying these things.” He slapped them into Snake’s outstretched hand. Snake looks them over intently looking for any sort of nicks or damage to the sticks before running his fingers over the fuses.

“They still look good.” Snake handed one stick back to Red. “Ok, the man by the front door is on this side. So find a slot in the boards to wedge it into, light it and run like hell back to this other corner. I’ll light this one to blow the cell when I see you turn the corner.” Snake reached into his right pocket pulling out a match and handing it to Red. “We need to take cover around the corner then wait to storm in and get Chief.”

“I hate this stuff. Why couldn’t we just kick in the door again?” Red looked nervous for the first time in many years that Snake could remember.

“Cause I told you, we can’t kick in now reinforced jail door. We gotta make our own.”

Red turned around and scooted up to the front of the jail. Snake watched for a second to make sure Red got into position. He swiftly moved to the opposite corner of the jail where his ear had mapped out in his mind the position of the cell holding Chief. Snake placed his ear against the wall again to double check his positioning. He wanted to make sure he caught the area where the cell bars came into the wall. The blast needed to create a hole to get Chief out and blow the guard off of him. Red’s blast just needs to be a distraction, but if it takes out the first guard, Snake would be pleased with that.

He felt confident that Chief would protect himself. He has to know it is us shooting out here. But the thought crosses Snake’s mind again, what if the blast hurts or even kills Chief. All of a sudden his mind, usually so sure of everything it is doing, swirls around the idea of not blowing the wall. Fear grips the corners of brain as Snake imagines his regret in gunning down all these guards just to blow up his friend in the end. Surely he knows we would plan to blow out the walls made of wood. Snake did his best to reassure his conscience that Chief was smart enough to know what Red and he would do. What is Red doing?

Snake was already off guard. Red came sprinting around the corner of the jail. He didn’t prepare himself as he was lost in thought. Quickly, Snake fumbles for his match. On the third strike, the match ignites just as Red reaches Snake’s side. Snake reaches out and lights the fuse.

BOOM!

The front stick erupts into the night. Snake notices the flash reflect off the bank wall. Broken boards begin to clang against roofs and clatter into the street. Snake and Red had reached relative safety around the far corner of the jail. They can start to hear voices out in the streets. Pounding foot steps as villagers come running.

BOOM!

The shorter fuse on Snake’s stick quickly reached the stick. Snake can hear the bending of iron inside the jail. Red beats him to the step, his gun drawn, running to the new hole in the side of the wooden wall. He gets a shot off at the close guard before Snake makes it there. Snake risks a fast glance at Chief to ensure he is alive before scanning for threats in the jail. Both Red and he roll back around the still standing portions of the wall before a bullet rings through the large hole. Snake can see the front guard is down. It appears he took the bulk of the first blast, a piece of wood sticking out through his leg.

“I’m mighty impressed by you boys.” The voice calls out from behind a desk sitting off to the side of the rather open room that was the jail. The phrase further instilled the notion with Snake that he should know who this is. But it was the major jaw drop on Red’s face that further frustrated Snake’s brain at the inability to place the voice. “I knew you’d come, but still you show a lot a guts doing what you dun tonight.”

Snake looked over at Red again. His mouth now closed and a large tear ran down his left cheek as he leaned up against the outside wall of the jail. Red’s hands clutched his revolver tight against his chest.

“Just give us our friend and we’ll be done.” It was the best Snake could think up. He supposed Red was paralyzed out of fear from the connection Snake was missing.

“Sorry boys, I can’t let that happen.” The voice boomed back out from the desk.

Snake could hear the town folks getting closer to the jail. He fired off a shot square into the desk as he peaked around at Chief. He was crouched down against the cell wall keeping cover from the man behind the desk. Snake reached around the wall and tossed Chief one of his guns. Chief caught it with two hands and immediately checked the chamber. Lesson #1, Snake heard Mr. Tweed resonate through his memories; always make sure your gun is loaded.

“Sheriff Robinson,” Snake could hear a voice call out from the streets. “Sheriff! Are you okay?” Just over the top of the desk, Snake noticed the wide brim hat turn back towards the large hole in the front of the jail.

“Now!” Snake shouted out seizing his opportunity. He squeezed the trigger of his revolver with his right index finger as his left palm slammed the hammer back into a cocked position. The bullets landed square in the middle of the wood surrounding the left drawer. Snake could see the hat quickly turn back and dip below the plane of the desk top. Chief was immediately on the move. He scuttled across the gap to the outlet Snake had created. Red fired a round into the desk as Snake got off his third shot. One more a piece and Chief was free, ducking around the outside wall of the shattered jail.

“Glad you finally come. I begin to worry.” Chief was smiling, he connection to the boys never more evident. “I say we run before luck run out.” Snake nodded noting to himself the Chief had never been wiser.

“No!” Red’s voice cut through the night air like a machete. Snake had almost forgotten he was over there. “We need to finish this.”

“Well I agree with the Chief, we need to get while we can.”

“No!” Red’s face began to match his name. The sharpness was back in his eyes. He looked ready to cast the fires of Hell on any man in his way. “We gotta get the Sheriff!”

“What’s going on, Red? I know I should know him and you obviously do. What am I missing?”

“You don’t know the half of it.” Red had finished reloading his spent cartridges.

A cascade of bullets sounded out across the jail. Splinters flew off the broken wood forever fractured from the dynamite. Snake didn’t need to look to know at least four towns people had joined the Sheriff. In between shots, he estimated he could hear at least six more shouting as they ran towards the jail.

“I think our time is up. We must go.” Chief fired two shots back through the jail before turning to run off into the dark.

“C’mon Red. Know when to fold ‘em!”

The color quickly drained from Red’s face. He tapped his nose as the bullets continued to break off debris and whiz past their heads. Red held up his fingers and counted down from three. Snake and he turned in unison to firing a volley of shots back at the amassing posse covering the front of the jail. After the well placed shots had sent all the man diving for cover, they spun on their heels and flew out into the darkness with bullets marking their path on the ground until the jail was out of sight.

6 comments:

Dan Woessner said...

I felt kind of bad because I said I'd read anything of any length, then opened this up yesterday and wasn't sure when I'd have time to sit down and read it. But I have a little bit of time between trips to work and got through it.

This may surprise you, but I think there are spots where this could be made a little longer, a little more drawn out to create suspense like the part where Snake is trying to light the match.

Without knowing where this is all going, I am wondering if skipping around to other perspectives may be interesting here.

I like the idea that there is some sort of vendetta between Red and the man in the jail and maybe that conversation can be more drawn out.

Nice action throughout with lots of movement. I need to read back to get my setting right in my head, but if all the text were together that would not be a problem.

I also like the rewrite of the last couple paragraphs from last time. Cleared up some confusion and added some description.

Unknown said...

That's sorta what I waas getting at by it got worse as it went cause I just wanted to finish and post it. Felt like I was against a dead line and just had to get it out there before it killed me with rewriting it. There are definately tie ins from previous sections, like the Sheriff's name. This would probably fit again as a memory sequence from Snake since that was kind of the format that was being used for historical action in this story. This is kinda pivatol too. It is the beginning in my head of how Snake starts to piece together the Red puzzle on the 10 yrs off and the sudden mission on his reapperance as well trying to weave in their attachment to each other. I know those things are hard to pick up when I just started up writing this section out of blue.

I want to write something else though for the next section. I was reading the lyrics again this morning trying to see what feel into my head.

Dan Woessner said...

yeah, I get that feeling of needing to be done sometimes with this blog also. Yeah, I got to thinking about that little exodus of Red's the other day when I was reading the first page of Smoking Guns. I had put down that he had been farming, and that's been long enough, that I am not sure why I picked that. Turning that into something could be cool.

Unknown said...

Don;t feel bad either, I often think your stuff is long and dont know how i will read it all. But I do :) Yeah I think I have a rough outline in my head about what Red was up to and what is in his head in the present. I worry about cohesiveness though if i start jumping to other perspectives. It was kinda all Snake thus far and that might add to the mystery of what is Red really thinking. Might be able to give Red some dialogue though where he tells a story or memory. If I can pull that off.

Dan Woessner said...

My stuff is long (I mean that both as a true fact about some of things I write and as a dirty joke).
I am also starting to wonder what Snake's long term motivation might be. Is he a life time card player and bandit. Or is there a little more to him?

Unknown said...

Here;s what I hope I can pull off as i continue to weave this story. Snake's focus is Red, why did he leave, why did he come back, what is he always up to. like he has been intrigued by him since the day they met at the home. But then the reader should end up focusing on snake, why is he seemly attached to red, and what's in it for him. So that through snake trying to solve red's mystery, we as the read are clued into the mystery of snake in the way he remembers things and tells this story.

Sometime I feel more confident than others that it is working. really this story is still greatly in its infancy. I am at Snake's level, i think i have the basics of Red's story, but i need to get to the readers level of peeling away Snake's layers with a twist or mystery of his own. if that is even possible with him telling the story