“You lied much too much, and you lied again” Songs Like This – Carrie Underwood
“I want you! I want you so baaaaaaaad, babe.” John Lennon’s proactive vocals seep out the small, black stereo speakers as if he were standing behind my chair, bent over to sing sweetly into my ear. The image lingers, glowing in the back of my mind like a lighthouse beacon through the ocean fog. The radio serves as my oasis in a sea of computers, vacation requests, phone calls and boxes. In fact, the newly painted putrid, pea-green walls were beginning to make me nauseous as my eyes continually go in and out of focus. The natural light from the window behind me helps, even if the usual lackluster view of rail cars is now blocked by an extremely proud, leafy bush.
The music suddenly ceases, the dramatic song ending in which Lennon asked the tape to be cut before the band had finished playing. My heart stops with it, my ears search for noise to fill the void. Lost thoughts race back into my mind like mobile homes and lawn furniture sucked into the vortex of a tornado. The gravity of the situation hits me, reminiscent of a slap across the face. What trouble am I in for?
A quick glance out the door confirms the fears. The light of the conference room shines out with the foreboding sense of prison lights at night. The auditor was still in there, likely going back over the books and accounts double checking the figures one more time. They had passed previous inspections, everything was always OK. But this auditor, ‘Karl Stevens’ his business card read, looked sharp. He gave me an uneasy feeling with his well placed questions and adeptness with numbers. Speaking to him gave me the sense he could be my equal in this battle of accounting and protocol.
No previous audit had taken this long. No previous auditor had the wits of Karl. No one had ever caught on. Maybe that is why the company went out and got Karl. Perhaps they know things are fishy, but no one ever had the skill to prove it. I still doubt they do now despite Karl’s impressiveness. All anyone can ever prove is that I over spent on this or not, a truly quantifiable issue. My response, however, always hits back to a very unquantifiable attribute of quality. It was always harder to measure and would require much more time to do so than any self serving auditor would ever dream of investing in a single audit.
The pictures of Karl’s kids on laptop screen easily lead to the conclusion that time would be his motivator as well. With the time pushing noon on this Friday, he would now be pushing the limits of making his flight home. That is the mistake the company has continued to make with their auditors. They always have families to get home to or bars and parties to whoop it up at. Being an auditor for the glory of discovering the largest book cooking, skimming operation in the company was a dangerous gamble, for the auditor and the company. The ramifications to both were highly unpredictable.
Still as the minutes continue to click, my confidence begins to slide. I quickly flip through the next block of songs looking for the right one to cut my mood. Why do I have so much crap on the IPod?
“I feel hot and cold way down in my soul.” Roger Daultry strikes me perfectly. Instantly my brain is freed of the stressful scenarios. I am left wondering why there are five pens laid out on my desk in alternating directions. The ends of four are cracked and broken, a result of repeated mauling by my teeth. The plastic spoon left over from yesterday’s lunch was my current chew toy. It was stiff allowing for recurring tooth aggression without breaking.
“I’m all finished up.” Karl’s voice knocks me out of the stupor as if someone just dumped a bucket of cold water over me. “Getting ready to head out now.”
The spoon is quickly tossed into the small garbage can under my desk as I rise out of my chair. Karl is standing in my doorway with his thick glasses, failed attempt of a mustache and cheesy smile. “Good to hear, wouldn’t want you to miss that flight.” I pulled it out of me in the best ass kissing manner I could muster; it was the part of audits I hated the most. Still, it was a better option than pissing them off at any time. Get them happy, get them finished, get them outta here. The mantra of my mentor ran back through my head.
“Yes, I am sure the kids will be glad to have dad home for the weekend.”
We shook hands in the polite fashion customary of two opponents who had just finished a tennis match. Looking casual and calm was the key to my walk as I escorted Karl to the door. The cubicle wall by the door served as a good leaning post as Karl signed out on the guest log.
“I’ll send you the report by Monday afternoon with a list of recommendations.” There seemed to be a pause at ‘recommendations’. No doubt some would be more than just a recommendation.
“Very good, we’ll get on those as soon as we get them.” Courteously, I waved as Karl went out the front door and off into the parking lot to his fancy, black rental car. After he sped off down the road, I turned around beginning a slow saunter back to my office.
My chair seemed too low as I plopped back into it. I almost feel sorry for it, supporting all the weight pressing down crushing it farther into the floor. With the auditor now gone, I am free to turn the volume up on my stereo.
“You take a mortal man and put him in control.” Dave Mustaine growls at me. 13 e-mails wait in my inbox. A few from customers, but most are pointless updates and CC’s from people around the facility. Slowly I spin around in my chair to face the single window. The bush seems larger than ever before. The bright, blue sky peaks in over top of it. In the gaps betweens leaves I can still make out a few rail cars sitting out on the tracks beyond building grounds.
Swiveling back around, I click the necessary buttons to shut down my computer. Whatever work is waiting can continue to do so until Monday. No sense in wasting my energy if Karl is as clever as he seemed to be. I’ll know before Monday morning. They wouldn’t want me back on the premises if Karl comes through.
“Good night my darling, good-bye my dear.” Geddy Lee seems to be wishing me well as I click off the radio. Lights off and door shut, I take the walk out to the parking lot ready for the weekend.
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3 comments:
I really liked this, and for a while, I was trying to decide if this were real. I guess I better watch my wallet next time I am around you, that our let you do my taxes.
There were a couple things that jumped out at me in the first paragraph like I don't know if you can have a "proactive" voice and does a voice seeping out, also then have the ability to be sweet.
I always think of deserts with Oasis, not oceans. Not sure if there is an oasis in an ocean. Maybe a sandy beach shore line or something. Dry land for the wandering soul. I did really like though then the color of the walls, worked with the water illusion well.
I'd say both of us walk a line of maybe being a little too cute with the use of song lyrics sometimes. But, it's sort of how we got where we are, so it makes sense for this blog.
Doesn't every good story start with an element of truth and is embellished from there? :)
well proactive is a spelling error on my part. should be provocative, one of those things that if you are just missing a few letters in the middle and your mind already knows what it should say, you miss it. I do struggle with adjectives and adverbs or different verbs in general trying to use the theasorus more. I believe sound can seep, but i think missing the direction on my sweet reference as in sweet sounding. I dunno, i really wanted to put the feeling or vibe of that song into here.
I know I couldn't believe I ended up with 3 lyrics but at the same time that is what gets me through the day so it was a truer respesentation of my feelings or mood. and those songs actually came up while I was writing and realized they could try to the mood. Still overdone for sure.
I guess I had the idea of an island oasis in my head. plus the definition of Oasis also deals with a refuge or pleaseant change from the usual. so the music becomes 'my oasis in a see of' shit basically.
To not ruin in to much, my walls are really that color, my window is like that, those pens are on my desk but i was able to get rid of the boxes yesterday! YES
Update on the submissions both are @ 29% wanting elevated with Gun having 45 votes and X having 46. They are almost perfect examples of bell curves. Kind of an interesting stuff in polling and distribution curves there for someone really interested.
Sound can "seep." But when you think of something "seeping" (which in writing terms is a word's connotation), do you think of something also being "sweet."
I think of sewage seeping through the septic into the drain, spoiling the air. Maybe that's just me.
It's just a matter of the words fitting together, maybe you want that juxtaposition of connotations. I dunno.
Come to think of it you may want something more boisterous than seep, if you're using the provocative ahead. Maybe pour out. Maybe linger like a word on the edge of a wet tongue. Just me think out loud.
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